Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Anxiety

Why is it that I let myself get SO worked up before a trip?  Like to the point where I'm physically a mess.  Upset stomach, anxious, the whole thing.  It's not like I haven't done this tripe before.  Ugh.  I need to learn to relax, work from my lists & call it good.

Sunshine & I are heading to VT this week to see my Mom, family & friends.  Hunter has classes & will be staying home with the dogs.  So, today has been packing day.   This is where I get a little nutty.  There's the toiletry bag--luckily I've got travel sizes of pretty much everything I use so I don't have to pack too much there.   But I do need to count out my meds for the time we'll be gone, as well as some extra "just in case".  And I also bring OTC meds for Sunshine again, "just in case".  And makeup, brushes, etc.  Next I have the bag we'll bring into the hotel (we're stopping in VA to see MIL/FIL on the way back) that'll have nighties, clothes for the next day, etc.  This leads to the bag for the rest of the trip.  Or bags, plural.  And of course, Sunshine's toy bag, our pillows & the portable dvd player, dvd case & my laptop.  Oh, and the camera plus the battery charger.  And my iphone charger.  And anything else I may have forgotten.

We're hoping to make it to the MD/PA border our first night.  I'm toying with the idea of staying over 2 nights so we can go to Gettysburg.  Sunshine has some knowledge of Abraham Lincoln so that might be a cool place to visit.  I'd really like to go up thru the Eastern part of VA so we could visit the Battle of the Wilderness fields which is where my great-great grandfather & his FIL were captured prior to their being held at Andersonville.

Hmmmm, I may have to look into changing our travel route.

After I'm done packing.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Mortified

Say it with me---mor-TI-fied!

That was me last night when I got home from knitting.  Sunshine was still dressed & announced that our neighbor's granddaughter, MM was visiting & they were going to play when she (MM) was done eating.

Hunter went on to say that when he & Sunshine got home from Jason's Deli, he took Smitty & Tinkerbell out only to have them run over to Miss K's house where they discovered MM was here & could Sunshine play with her?

The mortification came when they came to our house to play.

Let me explain---I've had a summer cold that came on late last week.  Saturday, I spent the entire day on the couch watching Mad Men on demand while Hunter & Sunshine were out enjoying the afternoon together.  I slept in the guest room because my cough was bothering me, I reeked of Vick's Vapor Rub, was mildly feverish & don't like to be around people when I'm ill.   Then, yesterday morning, Sunshine had the sniffles/sneezies & such and played in her room for part of the afternoon by dumping out baskets of dolls/accessories/clothes/such.  We didn't make her bed because well, it's summer vacation.  We can be lazy, right?

Apparently not!

Mortified.

So this morning we put clean sheets on the bed in the guest room, vacuumed the guest room, hallway, Sunshine's room, living room, and the sun room.  Sunshine's bed is made.  The toys in her room are put away.  I need to clean the toys off the coffee table but, eh.

Slowly my feeling of being mortified is going away.  I think bringing these silly girls to the pool will help.

Happy 1st day of Summer!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

I have a little secret

I'm kind of dreading Father's Day.  Shhhhh.

It's not that I don't want to celebrate what a great daddy Hunter is.  I really do.  Because he is such a great daddy.  And husband.

It's just that I really miss my own daddy & keep remembering his last Father's Day.  And how I realized just how far his dementia had progressed.  And how I cried during that phone call.  And the pain that followed a month later when he died.

That pain that never really goes away & shows itself on days like Father's Day, birthdays, & other holidays.

Sorry to be such a downer.  I wasn't really aware of how I was feeling until Sunshine & I were shopping for FD cards.  I was mentally making my list "One for Hunter from Sunshine, one from me, one for FIL from Sunshine, one from us,  one for Daddy. . . oh, yeah scratch that."  The other day I was talking to a friend whose father died after a long battle with cancer & she confessed how hard this weekend was.  Yet another friend who was widowed last summer is facing the first FD for her & her almost 12 year old daughter without their husband/father.

If your father is still alive, take joy in that.  Never take his physical/mental health for granted.  If you're on the outs, find a way to put those differences aside.  There will come a day when you won't have your father & it'll be then that you realize just how much you miss him.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Lazy Summer Days

Are they not the best?  We're entering our 4th week of Summer Vacation & it's been so nice.  We tend to spend most of our days at the pool enjoying the cool water, friends for Sunshine to play with & relaxation for mommy.  Sleeping in past 7 is always nice and enjoying the week Hunter had off from school before summer session begins.

We've been wanting to go back up to the ATL zoo (sorry, Zoo Atlanta), but it's just too darn hot.  There are lots of shaded areas but meandering around the zoo in 97 degree weather doesn't appeal to me.  Maybe we'll head up in the late fall when it's much cooler.

We're trying to finalize plans for our VT trip--where will we stay on the way up & such.  We had discussed visiting Hunter's aunt in Richmond for a couple days but need to iron that out with her.  I'd also like a day or so with my brother & SIL in Delaware if that's possible.  We're hoping to stop in VA to see the ILS but with MIL working it limits the time we can spend with her.  *sigh*  We'll get it figured out.

There's also been knitting going on.   KNITTING!  My scarf for her para pro from 1st grade is more than 1/2 way done.  I've never taken this long on a scarf & while it's embarrassing, it's okay.  It'll be done before next winter when she needs it.  I'm thinking that today I'll start the potato chip scarf for her teacher as that should be a quick knit.

Today is the start of World Wide Knit In Public Week & we'll be at Barnes & Noble this afternoon, our regular knit night tomorrow @ Panera & then I forget the rest of the activities.  There aren't many planned during the work week so maybe I'll offer to host something at Starbucks or somewhere else mid-week.  Sunshine has VBS starting tomorrow so my mornings will be free.  Which reminds me that I need to bring a check tomorrow morning to pay for her t shirt & cd of songs.

Hope you're having a great summer/summer vacation.  I'm with Phineas & Ferb that there's a whole lot of stuff to do during summer vacation--and Sunshine & I are going to try to do it all!  Well, except for that giving a monkey a shower bit.  That doesn't seem like much fun!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

How do you

handle other people's children & their bad behavior?  Specifically the children of friends.  Like when you're sharing a house on vacation.

As you know, Sunshine & I went to Disney with a friend & her children last week.  The first day we were there, the drama started.  Screaming, whining, not wanting to participate (ie, go on rides) & general stinky behavior that wound up in a spanking in the bathroom around the corner from Cinderella's castle.  Along with the threat that daddy would come pick her up (6 1/2 hrs away!) if it didn't stop.

Now, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that this child is almost 8 & suffers from ADHD, depression & sensory issues.  As well as issues from her parents' divorce.

But, issues aside, the expectation for good behavior isn't there.  While the mom is a friend of mine, she's often preoccupied.  This trip she was busy texting her sister, mother, & potential new boyfriend.

Hunter & I have high standards for Sunshine's behavior----I'll be the first to admit that we're strict with her.  Maybe it's how we were both raised.  Maybe it's that we were older (mid-late 30's) when she was born & used to our house being a certain way.  Maybe it's that we never wanted to be the "cool" parents or friends to Sunshine.  Child rearing is serious business & we both feel that if children are given a standard, they will rise to that standard.  Most of the time.

Sunshine is far from perfect, but she's a pretty good kid.    Always has been.  There have been days (weeks? months? Hello, terrible 3's--I'm looking at you!) where she's tried our patience but overall, we're fortunate to have such a sweet girl.  And one who is serious issue free.  Believe me, I think God for that daily.

So, back to friend's daughter.  She's almost 8.  She ought to know that she's expected to use utensils when she eats, right?  I'm sure she does, but at 2 of our meals together she wasn't.  And mom was too busy texting to notice.  Which irks me to no end.  I think most parents are guilty of over-texting, playing on their phones, computers, whatever at some point but please,  pay attention to your child.  And if you're not, don't get upset when other people do & comment to the child or to you.

Friend & I are on the outs as a result of our differences in how we expect our children to behave.  I was told to "lighten up, it's Disney World!".   Yes, it may be Disney World, but that doesn't mean that your child can go hog wild & annoy the bejeebus out of everyone else at the parks.  Or worse, risk getting hurt because you can't, or wont, control them.

After many texts, phone calls & conversations with Hunter, Sunshine & I came home a day early.  I couldn't handle it anymore & Sunshine couldn't either.  She missed her Daddy & rather than drive to Cocoa Beach for a dip in the ocean, wanted to drive home to swim with Daddy at the pool on Sunday.  And Monday.   Hunter & I agreed that we need to focus on our friendships with people whose child rearing practices are similar to ours.  For our sanity & for Sunshine's benefit.

So, dear readers, I'm asking you this---what do you do in instances like this?  Do you chime in or do you bite your tongue?