Blue

I've loved hydrangeas for as long as I can remember.  They're second only to peonies.  Which just so happens to be one of my favorite words to see in print or written:  peony.  

When we were looking at houses, I told people that I'd know the right house because it would have blue hydrangeas & a mimosa tree.  We found what I thought was the right house for us---4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths.  It had a formal living room, formal dining room, large L shaped family room, in a cul-de-sac, 2 stories & there was a large mimosa tree in the back yard.  And it was a great size yard.

Unfortunately, I was too busy looking at what was right with the house to see what was wrong.  The master bedroom & en suite bath were tiny.  Really tiny.  Our bedroom furniture wouldn't have fit.  Well, it would have but it would have been a tight fit.  And the master bath was the size of some apartment bathrooms I'd had.  There was no option of knocking out a wall to enlarge it as it backed up to the stairwell.

And the yard, well, it had holes in it.  They might have been made by the tenant's dog, or by a critter creating tunnels underground.  Or other things.  There were issues that our realtor pointed out to Hunter that I have since blocked because I was convinced that we were meant to have THAT house.

The more I raved about the house, the more Hunter would make faces & express his concerns.  Hindsight being 20/20, our realtor did us a favor.  We went on to bid on a different house & were outbid.  Two days later we looked at this house.  It was the first house out of 9 (I think, 9? Maybe 10.) that actually had him smiling.  "This house, I like!" he said as we walked up the driveway & into the garage.  There were negatives, of course, but he pointed out what minimal things they were, that the owner would pay to have them fixed & again, "this house, I like!"

But there was no mimosa tree & there was no hydrangea plant.

Or so we thought.  Our neighbor, Miss Jane, gave us a blue hydrangea as a housewarming/welcome to the 'hood gift.  Hunter's parents gave us a mimosa.  I was giddy when they both bloomed our first Spring here.

And I was positively bursting with joy when I realized that at the end of the hedge row in the backyard, there was a hydrangea.  And it was blue.  And it was magenta!  Two different color blooms on one plant.  Now, I'm not sure what kind of soil is going on in that part of the yard, but I'm glad it's wonky!

A week or so ago I was in the sun room when I noticed something blue & purple in the yard.  My hydrangea had bloomed.  Blue  & purple.  

I knew this was the right house for our family!  

An Open Letter To Insomnia

Dear Insomnia~


I feel we know one another well enough for me to speak frankly to you.  You suck & I am severing our relationship effective immediately.

I know this must come as a shock to you considering our history.  Yes, we flirted all those years that I was a night owl.  An "early" bedtime of 12:30 isn't early & it's much too late to go bed when you have to be up at 6, but we made it work, didn't we?  Oh! And the old weekend/going clubbing & getting to bed around 3 to be up at 6 back in my retail days---man, that was nuts!  Remember my "get me going for the day" breakfast on Saturdays?  Yep, McDonalds Bacon Egg & Cheese Biscuit, hashbrown & a large orange drink.  You'll excuse me for a moment while I contemplate the carbs in that one meal alone.

I also know that you had a hand in Sunshine's sleep issues her first couple months of life.  It's okay, admit it.  New moms are fun on 3 hours sleep.  Not fun for them, but for you.

Then something happened.  Your arch nemesis Mr. Ambien came onto the scene.  I was SLEEPING.  Granted some nights I was babbling incoherently to Hunter as Mr. Ambien did his work.  And there was that famous incident where I was on the phone w/ AM, crafting beaded earrings in anticipation of Hunter's homecoming.  It's okay to laugh.

You HAD to know something was up during Lent when I decided that rather than give something up for Lent, I would DO something instead.  And that something was get in bed by 10 each night.

Admit it, you didn't think I could do it, did you?  You thought I'd fail miserably.   But I did it.  And I continued to do so after school got out (for the most part).

And that little success of mine made you mad, didn't it??  And when I decided "hey, it's summer vacation---I don't need to be up at 6 so I'm not going to take anything to help me sleep.  I'm going to do this ON.MY.OWN" you became crazy mad.  So mad, in fact, that tonight (last night?) you decided to exact your revenge upon me .  "Oh, she'll be all wired from the season finale of Mad Men" you thought.  "She'll get in bed after 11, want to read a little, want to play backgammon on her Fire & that's when I'll show up"

Two can play at that game, sir.

So Insomnia, our destructive , no--single sided relationship ends.   I WILL get in bed at a reasonable hour on most nights.  I WILL beat you at your crazy little game that leaves me in dire need of caffeine.  (I'm not giving up caffeine here---let's not go crazy!)  I WILL get a decent night's sleep.  So HA!

Go find someone else to bug.

Signed,

Laurie

Two weeks into summer vacation

and we've settled in nicely.  There's much sleeping in, general laziness, swimming, thrift/antique store scouring, crafts and trip planning.

I've finally finished the training "program" for caregivers for the VA.  Yes, "program" in quotes.  It consisted of having a conversation with a VA rep on Hunter's condition and what level of care did he need.  There was a training "program" that could have been in person (thank you, Jesus that it wasn't) or online.  The online was bad enough.  The majority of it was common sense but there were a couple modules that did provide good info on support for caregivers.  Hunter had to submit a form saying that I have access to his medical records and yesterday we had a home visit from one of their reps.  Now we wait to find out which tier he falls into and what the monthly stipend will be.

We're also trying to plan our trip North.  We're hoping to bring Sunshine to Williamsburg as 2 of her American Girl dolls lived there (Felicity & Elizabeth) and are looking forward to Hunter's father's family reunion.  It'll be nice to see them again as we haven't been to one of their reunions since 2006.  We're also planning to bring Sunshine to Montreal.  Hunter has only been in the winter which makes sight seeing tricky as he may or may not had a wife in high heeled boots clinging to his arm for fear of wiping out on icy sidewalks.  Hopefully my mom will agree to watch our dogs overnight while we go.  If not, we'll make a day trip out of it. The American dollar is doing much better than it has been and is now worth more than the Canadian dollar.  Basically we'll get better rates on our hotel room & while shopping!

Today Sunshine & I are going to see Madagascar 3 this afternoon and then tonight I have a girls dinner with some friends.

Have a great weekend!

The Year In Pictures--2nd Grade

First Day of 2nd Grade---Butterflies in our tummies!

Sunshine & her friend S.

Friends at the Father/Daughter Dance 2/10/12

Field Day 3/30/12  Bring on the Tug o'War!

Drama Kids Production 5/19/12

Sunshine & Her Proud Daddy on Awards Day (Principal's List & Perfect Attendance)

Last Day of 2nd Grade!  


Hello, Summer Vacation!!!

Hello? Is this thing on?

We're in the home stretch---2nd grade is almost a memory.  How did this happen??  AR Celebration Week was rough, I'm not going to lie.  I've spent every day at school this month with the exception of 3.  Maybe 4.  As much as I love volunteering & being part of the school, this schedule is wearing me down.  As was evidenced last Wednesday.  It was Treasure Box day.  And make up testing day, which meant the TB couldn't be in the library as it usually is.

No big deal, I put it on a cart & jokingly referred to myself as a candy striper & off I went, class to class.  Well, not all classes are on the same schedule.  Some have PE, some are at Art or Music.  Some teachers like to go outside after lunch & not come back for 30 min.  Some had kids testing in different parts of the school.  And one  wanted 3 of her kids to get their TB goodies at 2 pm as I was trying to leave, purse on shoulder, PTA checkbook in tote bag in hand.  I was DONE.  I was going home.  But as I'm trying to give up feeling guilty about things I can't control, I found that I couldn't say no to these kids.  And I couldn't make them wait until the next day.  And I can't control that their teacher didn't call the library to find out if I could come down to her class.  And since her kids have emotional issues, they're not allowed to walk down the hall to the library on their own.

And while that's not my fault, I can't say no to these kids.

So, I wound up crying in the PTA closet.  But they don't need to see that.  They need a smiling face.  They need to be treated like the other kids.  So I got my proverbial crap together & brought out the box.  When I got home I lost it.   Completely.  Crying, couldn't talk, collapsed on my bed & took a 2 hour nap.  I was beyond exhausted.  I was so bone achingly tired.

Thank goodness I have Hunter by my side.  He took care of Sunshine & let me be alone in our dark, quiet bedroom to rest.

The rest of the week (Hair/Face Paint Day & Dunk the Principal/movie day) went well.  I was better rested & had fun those days.  Our principal is such a good sport.  Not all principals would agree to be dunked by 100 kids & teachers.  I took advantage of the situation & let the teachers buy chances to dunk Mr. S.   We raised around $85 which was great.  It wasn't a lot, but it's something.

Sunshine's play was so cute.  I've seen some of their rehearsals & I'll admit, I didn't know if they'd get it together in time.   She (and the other kids) did such a good job---I may or may not have teared up a little at the beginning.  This is my baby on the stage, people!!

And so we find ourselves in the last week of school.  Yesterday I was able to avoid going to school & spent the morning shopping for bathing suits.  Our pool is open & I'm in need of suits as mine are a few years old.  With all the time we're there (4-7 days a week), I need several options.  And I'm convinced that men design these things.  And, I'm notoriously cheap when it comes to bathing suits.  Why am I paying $200 for a suit?  A handbag?  Of course.  A coat?  Sure.  A piece of lycra?  Come on now!

Today the outgoing president & I took a student to the school district's clothing bank & that was it.  Okay, we got ice for some coolers for the 5th grade's yearbook signing party & we handed out a couple year books.  That was really it.

Sunshine & I hit the pool after school with some friends & managed to get home in time for dinner.

Tomorrow is her awards ceremony--- I know she's getting at least one as we received a little invite letting us know.  We'll see how she fares--she's worked hard this year & it's nice to be recognized for that.

Then it's Thursday (5th grade graduation--I'm helping set up/decorate & serve refreshments) & then it's the last day of school.

This weekend?  Pool, general laziness & sweet, sweet summer vacation!

Five More Days

Just 5 more days until the craziness is over.  There are 10 days until school gets out but I am determined to enjoy the last week of school with minimal stress.

After BOGO Book Fair ended we turned around and went right into Faculty/Staff Appreciation Week.  I run 5 week long events each school year.  It's hard work but it's nothing like F/S AW.  Our chairperson started planning this 2 months in advance & was still pulling things out at the end.  It was utter insanity all.week.long.  And since I was one of the people who coerced, asked her to handle this event, I felt obliged to help out.  We have 70 teachers/staff people at our school.  On Friday afternoon we had a giveaway that had a gift for everyone as well as 6 grand prizes.  This was after we'd all been at school since 745 that morning for our 1st annual International Day.  I knew that sitting down at 1 while they kids were "visiting" Panama was a mistake.  I knew getting a diet coke to help me make it until 4 when the giveaway was over was a mistake but I was bone tired.

During the week, we served breakfast, snacks, & a catered lunch to those people who make our school run.  From the principal to the janitors & everyone in between.

My laryngitis is gone which is good but I'm still only about 90%.  This coming week is AR Celebration Week & already I'm stressing about things.  There is a helium shortage.  How this is possible, I don't know but there is.  So our balloon parade on Tuesday is being threatened.  I know I could go to a couple different businesses to have them blow up the balloons but then how would I transport 100+ balloons in my car?  We've been discussing buying a small helium tank from the store that I avoid at all costs & that shall remain nameless but Ugh, I really dread going in there!  The little voice inside my head says "but it's for the children".  The sacrifices we make for the kids!

Friday is going to be a fun day as we're starting off with our principal getting into a dunk tank with the kids from the winning chapter getting a chance to dunk him.  I've spoken with the other moms on the Exec. Board about opening it up to the teachers for a price.  $10 for one chance, $15 for 2 & $20 for 3.  All the money would go back to the PTA & be an easy little fundraiser.  I've spoken with some of the teachers & they seem excited by the idea.  Of course they do, it's the end of the year & they're frustrated.

Our Exec. Board for next year is going to be great---my friend K is going to be President.   Again, by coercion.  Really, we twisted her arm but good.  The outgoing VP wanted to be President badly but never showed it by her actions.  We couldn't count on her to be present for anything---including her own events.  By the middle of the year it had gone from frustrating to just a joke.  When she put in less than mediocre effort into our Field Day & Family Fit Night, it fell on other people to run the events.  FFN had less than 50 people turn out which never happens for us.  Our movie nights bring in 200 people so 50 is dismal.  So, we decided that K, who was basically standing in for her, would make a great President.  Our outgoing President will be VP, I'm staying on as Treasurer & we have a new mom as Secretary.  She fits in with us & is a lot of fun.

So, 5 days from now, things will be much more calm for me.

Wait, make that 6---Sunshine's play is on Saturday.  Things will calm down on Saturday afternoon.

Then I can rest!

Parents Can't Be Fired

And, isn't that shame in some cases?

We've finished day 3 of our 4 day BOGO Book fair and I find myself on my couch watching a DVR'd episode of Toddlers & Tiaras.  I also have laryngitis & am eternally grateful to my wonderful husband for taking Sunshine to a birthday party @ Chuck E Cheese.  On a Saturday.  I need to do something super nice for him to make up for this!

So anyway, have you noticed that parents can't be fired?  You can be the crappiest parent on the face of the earth & it takes a court of law for you to be fired.

Since I've spent so much time at school this past week (most weeks really), I've seen the results of crappy parenting.

There are obviously tons of books at a Book Fair, but there's also the "junk" table as we call it.  Pencils, erasers, $2 erasers, $1.50 pencils, $5 pens.  Those stupid pointers that kids have no need for but  they cannot pull themselves away from them.  Then there's the pointer pen/combo.  And of course, the posters.

I understand the need for the junk table but I also understand the lure & the temptation of it as well.  Yes folks, elementary kids shoplift at the book fair.

One of our budding little thieves is a 1st grade girl.  She has a sweet face & I'm willing to bet that if her parents gave half a damn, she'd be one of those great kids that everyone loves.  But the fact is, her parents don't even give 1/16 of a damn.  She comes to school in mismatched clothes, looking like she just rolled out of bed.  She's disruptive in class, has flipped her teacher the bird too many times to mention, her folder has that black crayon scribble that is generally associated with serial killers, she's stabbed herself with a pencil & has stolen stuff from her classmates.

She's 6, people.  SIX years old.  She's been disciplined at school & sadly her behavior has led to her being ostracized by her classmates.  Her parents have been told repeatedly that she needs help.  She needs therapy.   They don't bring her because "it's too far to drive".

Sad sack daddy say what??  Your child is STABBING themselves with a pencil & you're not willing to get her the help she needs?  Pardon my language, but what the hell???  Who the hell ARE these people?  Her teacher & the administrators are at their wits end.  They want to see her get help.  They want her to fit in &  be a normal kid.  But sadly their hands are tied.

On Thursday, the 9 year old girl who shoplifted at our book fair back in Sept came to shop.  She was turned in back in the fall by her classmates.  As a PTA member, my hands are tied when it comes to any sort of disciplinary action.  But our Super Bookatarian came to the rescue &  handled the situation.  So, whenever this girl comes into the library for the fair, I set my volunteers on an eagle eye mission to watch her.  One of the wonderful ladies from my knit group came to help out this time around & was on this girl like a hawk to the point where she was beyond frustrated & didn't lift anything.  This time.  Who knows what happens in brick & mortar stores.

Then, yesterday we had another 9 year old girl steal.  She was smart (or really dumb, however you choose to see it) & had her friend with her as a shield.  She stole a Han Solo Lego figure out of a book.  I was outside the fair talking to a PTA volunteer who wants to chair a couple events next year so I missed the whole thing.  When I returned to the library I was filled in on everything.  Our library clerk was still shaking as she was the one who saw it happen & who confronted the girl.

Unlike our lost little 6 year old, this girl's family would buy her anything.  Only they don't like facing the fact that their daughter has issues.  Both of the girls were brought to the principal's office, confronted & unfortunately the Lego figure is missing.  We don't know if he wound up in the trash, thrown behind the book fair fixtures, or who knows where.  The girls were brought home by their parents.

Now, if you know anything about book fair, you know that after each one, Super Bookatarian & I celebrate by going out for margaritas.  The rule is you can come with us if you've volunteered for the fair.  Last night was our margarita night & we were joined by 3 teachers.  One of them pointed out that our 9 year old girl's mom was seated at a table near ours.  I understand you have commitments &  that you need your mom time.  But for pete's sake, your child was accused of stealing & you're out having cocktails & munchies???

It all makes sense, doesn't it?

Last week, I saw the Facebook status of an acquaintance.  It said that she didn't want to the the mommy that day.

I don't know about you, but no one ever told me that there was a choice.  That you can take off the mommy hat & go back to your life before you were the mommy.  Is there a choice?  Have I been misled?

Being a mom (or dad) is no joke.  You're on the job 24/7/365.  Your job doesn't end because the kids are at school or in bed.  It doesn't end when they leave the house & go off on their own.  This gig's sort of like being Pope.  You're in it for life.  The fancy hat is optional.  And sadly you don't get the Pope's car.  Which would be kind of cool.

But I digress.

As a parent you are responsible for EVERYTHING.  You're the good guy, the bad guy, the hard-ass, the safe place, Miss Manners, chief advocate, mediator, chauffeur, secretary, maid, care giver, chef, etc, etc, blah blah blah.

Again, this gig is no joke.   But it doesn't come with a time card.  Too few people realize this.

Let's revisit 6 year old lost girl.  She has a classmate who destroyed a book case in his teacher's class.  Now, had that been Sunshine, I'm pretty sure that I would have gone into that school, on my knees, begging forgiveness with checkbook in hand to make restitution.  This boy's mom?  Blamed the teacher for his outburst.    His reading problem?  The teacher's fault.  She needs to work with him more.  Those other 22 kids in the class?  Forget them.  They'll be fine on their own, but her baby?  Needs help.

She approached me in the fall &  in an indirect way started to ask me if I would watch her children after school.  I love the work I do at Sunshine's school, but I am NOT watching anyone's children on a regular basis after school.  Sunshine gets along w/ this boy's brother (they've been in the same class for 2 years), but after a while, they start to rub each other the wrong way.  She doesn't need to be having a bad week or whatever with him at school &  then have him in her home afterward.  And I'm going to admit, I like our afternoons.  We have snacks, playtime, homework, dinner, etc.  Throwing 2 boys into the mix isn't going to happen.

So after I tell her that I'm frequently busy after school I found myself being approached by the teacher's aide who had been watching them.  She told me I made a wise decision as this mom cannot handle hearing anything negative about her sons.  And you do NOT discipline them.  She does.  We know she really doesn't but still.

Fast forward to Christmas time.  She approaches me again to ask if I could carve out some time when I'm at school to go into her younger son's classroom to read with him.  No, she's not going to pay me &  I know she doesn't read much with him at night at home, but could I do this pro bono work for her?  I have a degree in education.  I have experience working with children.  The times I'm at school I'm busy.  Part of the reason why I don't walk Sunshine into school in the mornings is because I will wind up being there for an hour or two.

Why do people expect others to raise their children for them?  I'm more than willing to tutor this boy, but you're paying me.  If that makes me a rotten person, then hand me the crown &  the sash.  I'll own it.  We read with Sunshine---we have since she was a little, little baby.  I leave my Monday night knitting group early to come home to read with her.  It's that important to us.

Kids aren't pets that can be left to their own devices.  They need guidance.  They need rules, they need standards &  they need parents who will be examples to them.  They need parents who are there for them & who hold them accountable.  They need parents who love them &  who want them to be the best they can be.

Kinda hard to do when you're blaming someone else for their crappy behavior while you're out having drinks, wouldn't you say?