**DISCLAIMER** I wrote this blog last month and saved it rather than publish it due to people who aren't able to discuss this topic with respect to other people's opinions/choices. Comments are OFF for this post. If you feel the need to discuss it with me, feel free to call me, shoot me an email, message me on FB. If it offends you, you might want to dig deeper into yourself to figure out why a decision that my husband & I have made upsets you.
I have absolutely NO motivation today. And it's not as if I have nothing to do. There are bathrooms to be cleaned, a dishwasher to be unloaded, vacuuming to be done beds to make. I also have some paperwork to be entered onto the monthly financial for the PTA.
But so far, I've watched DVR'd shows. Today was Hoarders and Southie Rules. Hoarders usually inspires me to get off my butt, clean until everything sparkles and to purge anything that I don't feel is necessary to keep.
Not today.
I'm blaming the weather since it's grey and gloomy outside. There's supposedly a huge storm working its way here. Another school district has announced they're releasing early in anticipation of this storm. So far, nothing from our school district. We'll see what unfolds.
Yesterday, I had a hair appointment (annual straightening) and as a result had a lot to sit around. I received a message from an online friend who is taking a Women's Studies course. She has to write a paper on oppression and the myths/stereotypes of women who stay home vs. those who work.
When I was pregnant with Sunshine, Hunter and I decided that it would be in our family's best interest for me to stay home. We knew it wouldn't be easily financially but it was something that was important to us. At the time, he was on a year home/year gone rotation. Staying home was incredibly difficult for me at first. I was used to going to work every day. I was used to having my own money. I was used to spending that money however I saw fit. My time off from work was my time. All of that changed in April '04. And ilke some life changes, it was a major adjustment. I wasn't prepared for how difficult it is to care for a newborn. No matter how prepared you are for motherhood, you're not prepared enough.
When Hunter returned to Iraq in January '05, Sunshine was 9 months old. I had settled into a routine, had other mommy friends whose babies were roughly Sunshine's age and was slowly getting back to being myself.
But, I kept thinking that maybe I'd go back to work while he was gone. Surely I could get a job on post. Surely I could put Sunshine in daycare on post. We'd be able to live off my income and save Hunter's.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I DID work. I did have a job. Raising a child is no easy task. Raising a child while your husband is in combat is no easy feat.
I've been criticized for staying home by people who really have no business to criticize my choices. Really, unless you're paying our bills, raising our child with us and/or living with us, it's just none of you business. I've been told I "just don't get it" when it comes to balancing a career and family.
No, I don't, because I've never been in that position. The people who criticized me? They "just don't get it" when I talk about what it's like to be home with your child for a year or more (as was the case with Hunter's deployment in '07) when your spouse is in harms way.
Now that Sunshine is getting older we've revisited the idea of me working outside the home. We come back to the same conclusion--we want Sunshine with us after school. It's not gotten easier financially, but it's something that Hunter and both agree with. Last time I checked, we were the be all, say all when it comes to her well being, not the nay-sayers.
I've talked about my volunteering with the PTA at Sunshine's school and the number of hours I spend at school or working at home on various projects/responsibilities. I don't get paid but I do derive a sense of satisfaction that the time I give makes a difference for roughly 600 kids. If I can plan and execute an event that makes them smile and have a memorable time, I've done my job well. I hear the excitement in their voices when they see Book Fair posters. Or when they get a balloon to carry in the balloon parade. That is my paycheck. That is what makes it worthwhile to me. I'm not just making SuperAwesomeSchool a better place for my daughter, I'm making it a better place for all the other kids.
We have a few dads at our school who stay home for various reasons. Some are in between jobs, some are retired (medically or otherwise), some have just made the choice to stay home. Why is it our society feels the need to demean the choice of SAHMs but a stay at home dad is seen as a great dad? Or an involved dad? Aren't most parents involved in their child/ren's life/lives?
Which leads me back to my disclaimer---why are people who aren't involved in the raising of my (or anyone's child), sitting in judgement? Surely they have their own issues they need to address.
