Well, Hello There!

Long time no read, huh?!  So, Sunshine is now a freshman in high school.

I know, it blows my mind, too. 

She'll be able to get her permit next week.  Trust me, that one's mind blowing as well!

And of course dance is all encompassing.  She's taking 7 classes a week and has grown so much this year.  She was a Battle Mouse, Snowflake, and a "stem" in Waltz of the Flowers in Nutcracker.  She originally was an understudy in Snow but got the nod and did 4 shows.  And she performed beautifully. 

Here she is in October during Observation Week.  Hard to believe that this is her second year of pointe.  Her work ethic is amazing and her instrutors always comment on how she gives 100% all.the.time. 

What's even more amazing is that this was her poor right foot in the summer of 2016 when she suffered a Jones Fracture during an intensive at her studio.  Her surgeon was incredible and I'm still so grateful for him.  As you can see, 5 screws and a plate put her back together again.  She spent 6 weeks non-weight bearing in a cast in the hot Georgia summer.  Then, another 6 weeks in a boot and she was finally cleared for full activity and was able to resume dancing.  It was a long, hard year as she worked hard to get back to where she was before---a year after her injury she earned her pointe shoes.

And, this past November, she was fitted for pointe shoes by her idol, Kathryn Morgan.  This is Kathryn's reaction to hearing about Sunshine's right foot.

As the school year starts to wind down (only 40 more days!), we're starting to pay for Summer Intensives.  Sunshine will be attending Joffrey South for two weeks and another two weeks at a SI in Vermont.  She's looking forward to both, partly because she'll be at Joffrey with friends and partly because of the experience of both, but also to see how much she grows as a dancer and how much it'll help her next year.

Nutcracker Hangover

Nutcracker 2016 is officially in the books!  Two performances (Saturday evening and Sunday matinee), two school performances (Friday morning at 930 and another at 1130), four nights of rehearsals on the big stage and two months of studio rehearsals. . . 

The shows went really well.  Our Party Scene was great and I really enjoyed being back on stage! My costume was yooooge, as you can see from the pictures!  After our first full dress rehearsal I realized that I either needed to wear character shoes (I was wearing low, lace up jazz oxfords), or needed a bustle.  Since my dance partner is only a couple inches taller than I am we decided I needed to hit up the costume ladies for a bustle.  It helped  a lot!

My favorite maid in the show!  She's an amazing little ballerina!

My character's "rival" for the attention of Drosselmeyer!  She's a local news anchor and is SUPER sweet!

My beautiful Toy Soldier!



So, after not dancing since the Clinton administration, I did fairly well.  Our dances weren't too hard.  Sunshine was fantastic as a Toy Soldier in the Party Scene and I'd be lyinv if I said it wasn't special to have been on stage with her!  It's not something I ever imagined would happen!

She did really well as a Toy Soldier, Battle Soldier (the Battle Scene was AMAZING!), and a Russian in the second act.  She had some quick changes and gained experience in having someone dress you and fix your hair for you in the wings.  Something she'll need as she moves up.

Tuesday's rehearsal was very emotional for me as it was the 6 month anniversary of her surgery.  I will never forget that gut punch feeling when her doctor told us she'd need surgery to repair her fracture and his assurance that she would be ready to dance in September.  She's still not at 100% but she has come so far.  We're hopeful that the next 6 months brings more strength in her foot/ankle and that she's able to move up to pointe next year.  She's got a lot of hard work ahead of her!

Lucky Number 7!

Sunshine's auditions went well.  Every girl who could possibly audition for Clara did and while Sunshine didn't get that part (her friend did), she congratulated AC and was excited to discover that she would be a Toy Soldier in the party scene.   She'll be a Battle Soldier and Russian with her classmates.

And, she and I will share the stage as I'm a "party mom" in the party scene!  I'm excited and nervous.  I haven't performed in a little over 20 years but am hoping my old experience kicks in.  We started rehearsals this past weekend and I have a stage husband as well as 5 kids.  The first dance we learned was easy.

My only concern is that I am FRONT AND CENTER for this dance!  YIKES!

Costume fittings will start this weekend--not sure when mine is but I'm hoping for the dark green or dark blue dress.  There is a peach dress but I don't look good in peach.

Sunshine's rehearsals went well and the schedule is great---she has an hour break after class on Saturday and then has back to back rehearsals as well as one on Friday night.  We had dinner after the Friday night one and enjoyed our time together.  Maybe it'll be our Mom/Sunshine night until the schedule changes and things get busier.

So, Nutcracker 2016 is upon us.  We're going to be busy but we're grateful that it's even happening.  In June it seemed so far away and whether it would be a thing wasn't known to us.  Sunshine has her 3 month post-op appointment with the surgeon on Friday.  We're optimistic.

God, I Hope I Get It. . .

Sunshine is walking.  Sans boot.  She is only allowed to wear sneakers or super supportive shoes (my rule.  Shush, her surgeon didn't contradict me).  She's not allowed to carry more than 10 lbs which makes avoiding her locker at school difficult (Shush, her surgeon's rule).  But, she's walking.  I hadn't seen my baby walk without crutches or a boot since June 2nd.  June 2nd 'til August 16th is a long time.


So, while she's walking she's not allowed to run or leap/jump. No cartwheels, round offs, walk overs or anything.  Again, her surgeon's rules.  She's allowed some participation at dance but it's limited to barre work mostly.  She's happy to be dancing again.

This Saturday the conservatory is holding auditions for The Nutcracker.  Every Level 4 & Level 5 girl is losing her mind over being able to audition for Clara.  In their eyes it's the only role that matters but I think very few of them realize the workload involved.   Sunshine didn't appreciate my telling her that someone who had surgery in June isn't prepared to be Clara.

Something to tell her therapist when she's 30.  The list so far:  my mother took a picture of me when I was 1 and got stuck in the dog's crate before helping me out,  and my mother told me not to audition for Clara when I was 12.

I managed to regain some of my standing by suggesting she audition for a Toy Soldier as it's still an important role, everyone knows/recognizes the music, and would be an easier role for her with her current situation.

I then played my trump card which was to suggest she speak to one of her instructors who just so happens to have had suffered a 5th metatarsal fracture some years ago (a Dancer's Fracture which didn't require surgery but still---she gets it.).  She suggested Sunshine audition for both, be prepared to not get one, to try her best, and learn the audition process.  

I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

The One About Stress

I'm used to living with stress.  I made it through three of Huter's combat tours, two with a baby/toddler. I ran a PTO. I've done countless cross country (okay, South to North) drives with a baby, then a toddler, then a child, and now a tween, dogs, and enough supplies to last us two weeks.  I've planned trips to Disney for pete's sake!

But honestly, none of this prepared me for this summer.

I knew something was wrong when I had a dream a couple weeks ago.  I dreamt that I was taking my SATs again.  Only instead of the two sections, mine had 18.  And everything was on separate pieces of paper and I couldn't find any to use to show my work for the math section.  And the weirdest part was that I was taking the test at home.

The other night I dreamt that Sunshine was back at ballet and it was parent observation week.  Sunshine was doing well but when they started doing leaps down the floor I gasped and jumped.  The mom next to me asked if it was hard for me to watch her dance now.  I replied that yes, it was very hard and I held my breath every time she jumped and when she landed.

I've also found myself craving what I refer to as "crap" foods----stuff like cheetos, Krispy Kreme.   Stuff that I just don't allow myself to eat.   I've had a hard time carving out time to walk/run due to Hunter's schedule at the pool and my need to be with Sunshine.  I've had a couple doctor's appointments in the last couple weeks and my weight is 3 lbs over what it was during my appointment in May.  Hunter tells me it's water weight.  I'm convinced it's my inability to get out and exercise.  Still, 3 lbs isn't bad.  It'll come off easily enough when she goes back to school and I'll have time to myself.  I did get a pleasant surprise in a fitting room when a pair of shorts that I thought was a 10 wound up being a 6.  They fit and zipped.  They fit and zipped poorly and I looked like a stuffed sausage but they fit and zipped.  I wound up buying them in an 8.  #smallvictories


So, next week Sunshine goes back to the surgeon and we see if her cast is coming off for good and she'll be in a boot (read: freedom and ability to swim!!!) or whether he'll try the cast for another week or so.  School starts in early August so I'm praying that she's off crutches by then.   We have a list of questions for the surgeon a mile long regarding what she's able to do and not able to do.  And then we'll have to get a rehab schedule from physical therapy.  AND then find out if she has PE first semester or not.  She's not allowed to go back to dancing until late August at the earliest so needless to say, participating in PE wouldn't be allowed until then at the earliest either.  If she does have PE we either need to ask to change her schedule or meet with the coach and see if she minds Sunshine changing out but not participating for at least the first month.


This past weekend we went up to ATL to see Hunter's mom who was flying home from his brother's in TX.  While we had a nice little visit, it wore Sunshine out so much.  Being confined in the car for 2 hours up and 2 hours back was brutal on her.  She was nauseous despite taking some OTC meds.  She rallied for dinner but by the time we got home, she was cranky, sore, and ready for bed.   I hope that her stamina comes back because the first month of school is going to be so hard on her.

So yeah, stress.

Post Op/Recovery

So today makes a month that Sunshine fractured her foot and Wednesday will make one month since her surgery.

The current count is 4 casts (one plaster from her surgery and 3 fiberglass), 3 splints (one in the ER from our first visit, one from ortho after meeting with the surgeon and a 3rd this past Sunday after she accidentally got her cast wet).

And one awesomely blinged out pair of crutches.

Sunshine's ben a major trooper this past month.  Her mobility is limited as are her activities so we've been reading, playing games, watching movies, going to the movies once a week , and doing short errands.

We're counting down to having her cast removed in three more weeks and then hopefully transitioning into a walking boot which will mean the start of physical therapy.  We do some exercises at home in an attempt to keep her flexibility up and to help with her turn out.  We're optimistic that she'll be healed and ready to dance by Labor Day.  Just in time for Nutcracker.

As The SuperBookatarian says  "dancers are tough".

And Then Summer Was Canceled

Sunshine's last day of school was May 19th.  We cut out early so she could run by SuperAwesome Elementary School to say hi to old friends/teachers.  The pool opened the next day so we spent the majority of our first week of vacation swimming.  We slept in late, we relaxed.  We were having fun.

The week of Memorial Day she started a week long ballet intensive.  Three weeks off proved to be a long time as a lot of the girls were beyond exhausted and sore.  Sunshine was on a steady diet of motrin, sleep, and eating to keep up with her dance schedule.

We were planning a trip to VA to see MIL this week so on Thursday I was getting my nails done while out running errands.  Sunshine texted me to say she wasn't feeling well.  She was queasy.  I suggested she sip some Gatorade, ask for a few minutes to rest and to lie down for a few minutes to see if the feeling passed.  She didn't reply so when I texted her during her lunch break she said she was feeling better and was able to eat her lunch.  I figured she was good to go and finished my errands before heading to pick her up at 4.  She called at 3:15 and asked me to pick her up as she'd hurt herself.

They were doing the dance of the 4 swans from Swan Lake when she heard a pop.  They immediately had her rest and iced her foot.  When we got home we had Hunter check her out (having an ex-combat medic in the house is helpful).  We decided to have it checked out at the ER due to the pop sound she heard.

A couple hours and one xray later, we were told that she had indeed fractured it and we would be hearing from the Podiatrist within 72 hours.  They put a splint on her, fitted her for crutches, and sent us on our way.

I started googling fractures--dancer's fractures, Jones Fractures, etc.  At the least we knew she'd be laid up for 6 weeks.  Summer session wouldn't be a thing for her and we needed to unenroll her.  The director of the ballet was sweet and called to express her concern for Sunshine.

Podiatry called the next day and wanted us there immediately.  We saw a bone scan and it was said that she did indeed have a Jones Fracture (the worst) and surgery would be next on our plate.   We were scheduled for Monday 6/6.

From what I've researched Jones Fractures are notorious for not healing properly due to either not having surgery immediately if not at all, and for the fact that there's limited blood flow to the area.  Sunshine has the Nutcracker in 6 months and rehearsals starting in 3.  We both cried and felt like we'd been punched in the gut.

So Monday came and went.  Her surgery went as planned---nothing unexpected was discovered, the 4 screws were put in, and she didn't appreciate me playing the intro to The Six Million Dollar Man and saying "we can rebuild her, we have the technology".  She was nauseous for most of the night because of the anesthesia.  The Percocet to help with the pain didn't help much either.

Tuesday wasn't much better as she was still nauseous and the Percocet wasn't helping with her pain.  A quick visit to Podiatry later we left with a new 'script for pain meds and something for nausea.  She slept much better last night and woke in good spirits this morning.

We have a follow up next week where we'll get our first indicator of how her recovery process is going.  Her doctor seems to think that because we caught it early, operated/repaired early, and her age that she'll make a full recovery with little to no incident of reinjury (common with a Jones that didn't have surgical repair).  And best of all, she should be back to dancing in late August, early September.

Hope and optimistic are big words for us now.  As are "rest" and "heal"

Words Escape Me

Our sweet girl danced in Coppelia this past weekend.  In February she was approached by one of the instructors about dancing "up" a level for the show.  She was thrilled and of course, said yes.  The best part?  She blended right in and did an amazing job.  

 We had her evaluation for the end of the year and it was great----her instructor commented on her strength, fabulous work ethic, and her confidence.  She was told to not be so hard on herself when she makes a mistake or doesn't get anything right off the bat.  I'm not sure where she gets that *eye roll*. She's motivated to work her tail off during the summer session and fall to get promoted again in January rather than next August. The next promotion means pointe shoes!

This week is our last week of regular classes and we'll have a small recital next week along with level awards.  The awards are new this year so we'll see what they're all about.  Then it's 3 weeks break followed by a week long intensive and then 2 summer sessions with 3 classes a week.  Time to shine, Sunshine!!

That Whole Tween Thing

I'm not even going to lie. . . middle school and the whole tween thing?  Hate it.  The expectations of kids so they get into the "right" high school is ridiculous.  Yes, our district has regular high school as well as magnet programs in all high schools.  The "right" school makes a difference.   Add to that the  whole hormonal changes, meeting new friends whose families might not be as strict as we are when it comes to speaking (cursing really), behavior, dress, makeup, etc has left me like this:

Mommy drinks because you're a tween!

We've always been lucky with Sunshine---she's a really good kid.  She's smart, has a kind heart, and has never been a problem in school.  And, she's always known her own mind and has been good about making smart choices.

Now?  We're finding ourselves in a position where we don't approve of her new friends.  We haven't spent much time with them other than meeting them at the school's Open House so maybe that's not fair to say we don't approve.  We don't like some of their habits.  Hunter and I have always made an effort not to curse around Sunshine.  One night we were driving home from ballet when she said Jesus' name in a manner that definitely wasn't praying.  I called her on it and she replied "How am I supposed to know what a cuss word is when you've never told me?"

And that's when I told her.  All.The.Words.  I explained that a good rule of thumb was to stop and ask herself if she would say the particular word around her grandmothers.  If she wouldn't then she shouldn't say it.

I have to say that she doesn't do it at home as we've told her we don't approve nor will we tolerate it. Friends tell me that she'll probably do it at school but keep it clean at home.  Fabulous.  

I know being a tween/teen in today's society is hard.  I know things are highly competitive and I know tween/teen girls can be mean.  We learned this back in the fall after Sunshine's BFF from elementary school told everyone who would listen that Sunshine had been asked to the fall dance by a boy.   When Sunshine confronted her she denied it but Sunshine found out it was her.  *sigh*  

So, back to these new friends.  At I'mNotSureIfWeLikeItYet middle school each grade level eats together as a class.  So, first semester Sunshine sat with the kids from her PE class which happens to include the new girls.  Her friends from elementary school are at other tables and no, you may not choose where you sit and no, you may not choose with whom you sit.  You may pull out your phone or device and quietly listen to music or whatever.

Because kids aren't on their phones too much or anything.

So, Sunshine finds herself wanting to be part of this new group of friends and has been hurt by her old friend's lie and subsequent mean behavior of ditching Sunshine for a new friend in their first period class.  When we carpool with her the conversation is awkward at best as the girl is always nose in her phone.  If I don't start a conversation the minute she gets in the car it's a silent ride unless Sunshine speaks up.

It stinks.

Sunshine's grades have been good but AP ELA has been a struggle.  A major assignment of a research paper with MLA citaiton format left us struggling for sources when the school library refused to let kids check out books on their subject lest another kid need them.  Um, what?  Luckily I was able to find books at the city library for her.   

I'm fine with her being challenged but the frustration with the teacher's erratic style (website is never accurate, assignments change, etc) is never ending.  I just keep saying that as long as she keeps a B or higher we'll be fine.

On the bright side, she's got a high A in Advanced Placement math, as well as As in her other classes. I know, I shouldn't be complaining.

When she's home she's either our sweet Sunshine or crazy irrational tween Sunshine.  One minute she is loving, wanting hugs, or to do something with me and then one of us will say something that will set her off and it's "FIIIIINEEEEEE!" and the epic flounce out of the room.   And when I say "say something" it's usually along the lines of "it's time to get ready for ballet" or "get ready for bed!"   

Dancing has been a saving grace as there is pretty much no drama there.  We did have one girl in her Monday & Wednesday classes who tended to be a drama mama but seems to have mellowed.  It helps that Sunshine was bumped up a level on Wednesdays and will move up over the summer to Level 4 which is pre-pointe.  Her goal is to get her pointe shoes---believe me, everything is about dance right now!

So, if you need me, I might be in the corner having a beverage until the tween years are over!

Better Late Than Never

Happy 2016!  We spent Christmas in Vermont this year and despite record high temperatures the first few days we were there, we managed to get some snow right before we left.  Phew!

We went to Boston for the day before Christmas to have lunch with Hunter's aunt and uncle.  We also managed to catch up with my old stylist for a bit before heading back to the T to get our car and drive back to VT.  I would have preferred to spend the night but didn't want to saddle my mom with Smitty & Tinkerbell for a whole day!   Sunshine and I enjoyed a classic photo op outside of the TD Garden (where the Bruins play).   I met Bobby Orr once when I lived in Boston.  He signed an autograph, chatted for a moment and I went on my merry way to a Lancome training day at the Four Seasons Hotel.  I kid you not when I say his fingers are the size of sausages.

Sunshine and I also had a blast trying on my old dance costumes.  I'm proud to say that I can still fit into most of the ones I wore in high school and college!  

 A trip home wouldn't be complete without lunch with my oldest friend, Heather.  Day drinking ensued.  Again, because a trip home wouldn't be complete without it!

The cold never bothered us!

I was happy that after buying new ski pants and snow boots we got enough snow for Sunshine to play in.  She spent just about the entire day outdoors playing.  As I was packing at 630 that night she asked if she could go back outside.  A promise to stay in the backyard (with the light on) later, she was outside for another hour before dinner.  My mom laughed and told Hunter that as a kid, I would have done the same thing.  The minute the first flakes were spotted I was suiting up and getting out there until I had to be told to come back inside.  Apple/tree.

We've spent the first month of 2016 purging things----dvd's, clothes that no longer fit (mine are too big!), kitchen items, shoes, etc.  I need to get Hunter to go through his closet and get rid of the clothes he never wears.  I need to run 4 bags of stuff to GoodWill today before picking Sunshine up at school.   

Nutcracker 2015

This girl has worked awfully hard the last few months!  Next week is crazy with four nights of Nutcracker rehearsals, two school performances on Friday, and then the show on Saturday and Sunday.

I'm officially done with my Christmas shopping but I think I need one more thing for Hunter.   Sunshine has been hard to shop for this year.  She's outgrowing her AG dolls which has been sad for both of us.

I'm resting my own knee today after having some pain the other day after my 5 miles.  The drawers in the bathroom are calling my name to clean out!  Somehow my makeup drawer is overflowing with samples and products that I no longer use.

Enough With The Knees

If we can go back to this past spring when Sunshine was a 5th grader at SuperAwesomeSchool. . .

The 5th graders participate in a very competitive kick ball tournament, complete with trophy and of course, bragging rights.

Really, the bragging rights are the biggest prize for the teachers.

So in early April Sunshine was practicing kickball during recess one day and somehow managed to twist her ankle.  She wound up spraining it and was told to get rest, meds, etc.  A couple weeks later her knee became swollen and the ER doctor seemed to feel that it had been injured at the time of the ankle sprain but somehow the pain went unnoticed.  Whatever.

We kept up with motrin to help with the swelling & fluid on the knee.  She wore a brace for the tournament (which they lost.) but still tried her best.

So, fast forward to late September.  She was pushed down during PE and skinned her shin.  No major damage, no need for an ER visit.  Until about three weeks ago when the same knee became inflamed and swollen again.  Her current doctor is very nice and had the knee x-rayed as it hadn't been back in the spring.  X-rays showed nothing but there could be soft tissue damage.  Over the weekend a spot grew on her knee that was red and warm to the touch.  And she spiked a fever.  So, it was back to the doctor that Monday.  After blood work and an examination,the diagnosis was Cellulitis, we left with more meds, a note for no PE or dancing for a few days and yes, wear the brace as there was some fluid on the knee.

Can the kid catch a break?

Last weekend she felt great---went to Pilates & Nutcracker Rehearsal and then to Saturday's class and rehearsal.  No pain & everything was fine.

Saturday night we had  plans with two sets of friends for Halloween.  One friend wouldn't be heading out to Trick or Treat until 7 as her middle daughter had a soccer game.  So, we went to another friend's house and were set to go to a couple houses with them before our 2nd stop of the evening.

Sunshine, her friend K, and two other kids went up to a house and were completely scared by a man in a mask that I've been told rivaled Twisty from American Horror Story (complete with missing jaw).  The kids were so freaked that they all tried to run away.  Sunshine tried to climb over a brick retaining wall on his walkway when she fell and cut her knee.  Bad.  Like the bleeding wouldn't stop and was running down her leg.

I called Hunter to come get us so we could bring our crying, hurt girl home.  We realized how deep the cut was and that we'd be ER bound.

My child doesn't do well with needles but was okay once her knee was numb.  I know I have decent upper body strength as I managed to hold her down while they applied the lidocaine.

So, 6 stitches later, we are again on orders of no PE or dancing for 7 days, so no ballet Monday or today.  She'll possibly go to stretch class on Friday but will definitely go to rehearsal on Saturday.  We've reached the point in the game where any missed rehearsals will result in dismissal from the show.  She's worked too hard through all this to not be in the show!

I've found myself googling the Patron Saint of  knees and have been saying prayers to St. Theresa of Avila in hopes that this kid's poor knee gets a break!!

This Middle School Thing Is Cray Cray

So, Sunshine has been in middle school for 2 months now.  She's adjusted to the whole middle school thing really well---the changing classes she did for the last 2 years but having 6 different teachers in 2 different hallways with 4 minutes to get to a locker that may or may not open?  Mastered it.  She's made new friends and is still surrounded by some great friends and good kids (read: smart kids who don't start or get into trouble and who are overall sweet kids) from elementary school.  She's carrying two AP classes and over all has a 96 average in her classes.

And she's taking  ballet technique classes three times a week as well as one Pilates/Stretch class.  Oh, and Nutcracker rehearsals are in full swing.

So, yeah, we're proud of her.

Her Broadcast and Graphic Communications class is hosting a "Haunted Hallway" during the Halloween dance in a couple weeks and she and BFF are planning on dressing alike as haunted dolls--sort of like those twins from The Shining.

Things got crazy today though.  On the way home from school she told me that a boy in her Social Studies class asked her to the dance.  I'll not share his name but his nickname is "Rocky".  She said he's cute, smart, and is nice.

HE ASKED HER TO THE DANCE!

THIS IS 6TH GRADE!

SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO GO OUT WITH BOYS!

Yes, I realize kids do go to these things as friends but he's never been mentioned to us as a new friend, and he's not one of her old friends.

ROCKY ASKED MY BABY TO THE DANCE!

ROCKY.

Just let that sink in because truthfully, I'm still in shock.

She turned him down and said she think she blushed when asked.  In true tween style, his friend (who was in her 3rd grade class) came over while she was sitting with her friends and did the asking.  We're all familiar with this MO.  It's how we skated "couples" at the roller rink when I was in 7th/8th grade.  You find your victim, boy of choice and tell your friend to go ask if they want to skate with you.  There's much gesturing and posing as your friend and said victim, boy point at you while you make sure you're posing in such a way that makes you irresistible but still faking like you don't know what's going on.  "That girl in the blue?"  "Yeah, the brunette in the blue".  "Yeah, I'll skate with her!"   You find out he goes to such and such school, skate to Bette Midler's "The Rose" or maybe "Babe" by Styx, thank one another for the skate, and most likely he'll come back during the next couples skate.  Or he might skate with you a while longer and hold your hand.

Back to Sunshine.

Rocky's friend (no, not Apollo Creed.  And not Paulie) approaches her.  Says Rocky wants to go to the dance with her.  She's shocked and for the first time in her life is speechless.  Her friends are squealing "SAY YES!!!!"  "SAY YOU'RE GOING WITH US!!!!"  "SAY NO!"  She said she finally told the friend that she was working the Haunted Hallway for Broadcasting but that she's not allowed to go out with boys.

And  she thinks she blushed.  Of course she did because she is her mother's daughter.

I sort of feel bad for ol' Rock.  Not because he's punching racks of beef in a slaughter house, but because he did get shot down.  Poor kid was probably talking to his dad or friends about how he'd like to go with her but wasn't brave enough to ask her himself. And maybe when he got home from school today they asked if she said yes.  And he has to say no.

So, as I'm nursing a glass of Fat Bastard Sauvignon Blanc, I'll raise my glass to Rocky.  Like his namesake he'll bounce back.  Adrienne will be waiting for him.  But she won't be my Sunshine!

POOF! They Were Gone

Santa, The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny, & our Elf On The Shelf. . . .gone.  The jig is up.

Yesterday we started our day with ballet at 9 am as we do every Saturday.  Sunshine had a great class and the Conservatory Director sought me out after class to let me know how much Sunshine has improved since last Spring when we made the decision to keep her in Level 3 rather than move her up.  Sunshine may or may not have blushed when she heard the compliment.

We came home and cleaned up as she didn't have Nutcracker rehearsal this week and headed to the Cotton Pickin' Fair which is one of our favorite Fall traditions.  Hunter doesn't enjoy it as much as we do so it was a girls thing.

We came home and watched some SEC football.  Sadly, Georgia lost to Alabama and Auburn won.  We actually like Auburn but have a friend who is such a rabid fan that we root against them to just irritate him.

After a couple hours of college ball, Sunshine had enough and asked to watch Doctor Who on Netflix.  As she watched the Season 8 Christmas episode she began asking about Santa and was he real.   Did Hunter & I buy presents and put them under the tree, unwrapped, and say they were from Santa.   I tried to deflect her questions by asking her "what do you think?".  Things escalated and she started saying "Tell me the truth.  Don't lie to me!".

I took a deep breath and decided that I wouldn't lie to her.  She's a 6th grader and there are a lot of kids in middle school who don't believe anymore and who would love nothing more to burst another kid's Santa bubble.  My big fear was that she would be embarrassed or made fun of.

So, I mustered up all the strength I could, looked her in the eye, and told her that no, there was no real person who magically hit up every chimney worldwide but it was us.  I told her that the spirit of Santa lives in all of our hearts and as parents there is no better feeling than watching the face of your child on Christmas morning when they saw what Santa had brought.

Tears were shed on both sides of the couch. I found myself questioning my choice over and over.  She was still a little sad when she went to bed.  It's a hard thing to swallow.

So, farewell Tooth Fairy and our pretty little tooth box.  I hope Sunshine has a little girl who will use it and enjoy its magic as she did.  Farewell Easter Bunny.  I think we will continue doing egg hunts as long as we are able, even if you didn't place the eggs.  And our Elf on the Shelf, Go-Go.  I think I will miss you and your cleverly written notes about the importance of listening to mom and dad, of how excited you are to travel by car to Virginia and Vermont for the holidays, now you wished Sunshine luck on various things, and how she would look for you in The Polar Express movie.

It's a new era in our house & our sweet tween girl is growing up.  While I look forward to it, a part of me is a little sad.

Just Me And The Retirees

Once school got out and I was officially "retired" from volunteering I had time do things that I enjoyed again and that were good for me.  Like daily walks.  Carving out time for yourself is a difficult thing to do whether you work full time, volunteer full time, etc.  There's always something to be done around the house, children to shuttle to dance class, homework, social obligations, on and on.

We're fortunate to have a beautiful 2 mile walking trail about half a mile from our house.  Parts of it are wooded and as you can see there's a beautiful lake.  

What I call the neck of the lake.  On a hot summer's day it's the worst stretch of the walk!

I used to take the dogs with me and do just the two miles but soon learned that I'd get a better time if I went alone and did a combination of walking/running.  Once it was full on summer and the brutal humidity that accompanies the summer heat that is known in SW Georgia the running went by the wayside and was replace with a super brisk walk.  

The trail is inhabited by many different kinds of creatures:  dragonflies and butterflies around the neck of the lake, birds obviously, various species of ducks, geese, Canada geese, herons, etc.  There have been rumors of foxes but I've yet to see one.  Thankfully. 

It's a good day if I see this little lady and her family

There's also a small family of deer that live in the wooded area where the lake becomes a stream.

I was a mess on the 6th anniversary of my father's passing and after spending the morning crying and missing my dad I decided that a walk would do me some good.  On my second lap I saw 4 deer in a clearing near the lake.  I slowed down as the first two ran back into the woods.  The third bounded away but the fourth stayed and stared at me.  My dad was a deer hunter and would go for drives in the evening to look for them in fields so he would know where to hunt the following day.  In his later years when he wasn't able to hunt, he enjoyed just going out looking for them.  Seeing the deer that day brought me peace and I took it as a sign that my dad was with me.  I've seen the deer a few times since then and it always lifts my spirit to see them.

As summer progressed. . . .and my stamina, I found myself doing two laps (four miles).  Some days my time was better than others but the fact remained that I was out there moving, not sitting on the couch basking in the AC.

Four soon turned to five and I'm averaging 25-30 miles a week.

Over the summer we slept in most mornings so I'd walk anywhere from 11 am 'til 1 pm.  We don't hit our really high temps until mid to late afternoon so while it was hot and humid, it wasn't completely unbearable.

Now that school is back in session and we're car pooling with friends I'm able to get out between 8:30 am and 9 am.  The temperatures are better but lately the humidity has been horrific in the early mornings.  Last week I was walking around 9 am.  The temperature was 78 and the humidity was 94%.  Needless to say, I was a puddle!

Walking earlier also means that I see the same group of people most mornings.  There are two older ladies who walk their dogs.  The little Yorkie?  Not friendly.  Not mean but just indifferent.  She did warm up to me on Friday a bit.  The pit mix?  Always up for kisses and ear scratches.  There's an older man who walks his grey faced lab who has obviously been a family member for years.  She can't make it up into the car herself so he has a little step stool for her.  There's a couple that is very friendly but the wife needs to lay off the Elizabeth Arden Red Door for walks.  Occasionally I'll see some parents from Sunshine's elementary school, but mostly it's me, a couple women who are a little younger than me, and the retirees.

Sunshine is back in full swing with ballet as well school.  This year she's dancing 4 days a week (3 technique classes and a Pilates/stretch class).  One of the classes is on Saturday morning which has been hard as it's at 9 am.  We enjoy sleeping in on weekends in our house so taking one away has been an adjustment.  It seemed to make sense when I was enrolling her as Nutcracker rehearsals will start in a couple weeks so I figured she'd be there already, she'd be warmed up from class and could just roll into rehearsal rather than go in cold.

The first Saturday class I sat with some of the other parents and read and chit chatted.  Yesterday I got the bright idea to walk the historic district.   There are beautiful ante-bellum homes along lower Broadway as well as on 1st avenue.  After dodging shoppers from the Farmer's Market for a block I found myself on a beautiful tree lined street with bricked roads and majestic homes.  My five mile path worked out well as I had my shortest mile splits that I've had in a while.  Maybe walking on pavement was less treacherous than tree roots/rocks and stopping to pet people's dogs while walking my usual path?

A friend's husband asked when I'm doing my first race and I laughed "Never".  I'm just enjoying doing something for myself that is healthy for my body and my mind.  I've run races before.  It's fun and exciting but at this point, the only person I'm competing with is myself.

Last week I did a 6 mile walk on one day.  It wasn't bad but I was nursing a sore foot so my time was off and I'd originally mapped my course for 5 miles (doubled up around the bridges over the stream, doubled up the drive off the street to the turn around, etc).  Maybe my September goal will be 6 miles/walk.

Funny Thing About Stress

is that when it's gone, you realize just how poorly you felt.

I've enjoyed my time as a parent volunteer.  A lot.  But for the past year my health has paid a very high price.  I was under a good bit of stress on a daily basis.  

If it wasn't the seemingly never ending stream of colds, sore throats or stomach issues it was the anxiety.

And the anxiety was bad.  Like to the point where I would head into the bathroom to brush my teeth after breakfast and would wind up getting sick.  Ironically, it was only happening on days I needed to be at school.

And it wasn't just me getting sick.  My two partners in crime (our Treasurer and Secretary) were sick consistently as well.  Same symptoms.  We'd text one another in the afternoons to make sure someone else was coming into school so we could either walk in together or leave together.

Parents would comment on how they were so grateful for the long hours we put in, and while it was nice it was frustrating.  They'd be posting their craft projects, daily workouts or various food creations on Facebook yet they never had time to come in and help out.

Let me tell you, if you can spend an hour working out, you can spend an hour at Book Fair, or you can spend 30 minutes helping to sort pictures from a dance.  "I'm so  busy"  "I work" or "I never know my schedule" were common excuses.

I knew that once BOGO Book Fair came around in April that the end would be in sight.  Granted, it would be a long four weeks (BOGO, Field Day,  Teacher Appreciation Week, AR Celebration Week, Final House Celebration, 5th grade overnight trip and then 5th Grade Graduation Week) but it was there.

Our events went off without a hitch and I had a couple days off in there.  And my mom came down for Sunshine's graduation which was hectic and wonderful all at the same time.

The last day of school it hit me.  It was OVER.  My schedule was about to go from crazy to vacation-lazy.  Sleeping in, no responsibilities, no need to be somewhere, no parents asking me about their 3rd grader's end of the year party--which by the way, I knew NOTHING about.  HINT:  Ask the teacher.

So, as the weight of the PTO was lifted off my shoulders, so was the stress.  I no longer find myself filled with dread when I need to go somewhere. I removed myself as an admin on the PTO's Facebook page.  My contact info is no longer on the school's website.    In the immortal words of Dobby:

Laurie is a free elf!  Laurie has no master!


I've had several people already ask if I'm going to head up the PTO at Sunshine's new school and the answer is no.  I may help out here or there but I'm not heading anything, running anything, chairing anything.   I'll help out at ballet and the pool but it's ending there.  I'm sick of being sick.

The Yearbook Story

Usually stories start at the beginning, I'm starting with this story from the last week of school.

Our PTO has a Facebook group as it's a great way to get info out to parents, answer questions, etc.  Back in April we announced that yearbooks had arrived and would go home to those students who had prepaid.  We had a membership option at the beginning of the year where parents could pay for everything in advance:  yearbooks, blue pops, t shirts, membership, Fall Festival Wristbands, etc.  We kept track with the use of a highlighter on several different rosters.

So, this mom who has had issues all year---too many kids are sick in her kids' class & why is this???? Her kids' Square One art project was messed up.  Our Treasurer who also handled Square One offered to help.  Another mom posts on FB that Treasurer was AWESOME in helping her fix the Sq1 problem.  Yearbook mom's reply?  "She does her best."

Um, excuse me?  Our Treasurer works a 40 hour a week job.  Granted, she works from home so she does have flexibility but those hours she's at school helping?  Take away from her work time so it's not uncommon for her to be up at 11 pm finishing her work day.

"She does her best" became our catch phrase for a few weeks.  Don't give us fodder as we will run with it and beat it like a dead horse.

So the final week of school this mom posts that she KNOWS she ordered a yearbook and PREPAID but her twins haven't received their one copy yet.  I send her a FB message apologizing, explaining our tracking method and tell her that it would have been better if she'd contacted us sooner than the last week of school.

She says
They are only supposed to get one year book. I didn't know when y'all gave them out so I didn't know they were missing one until they brought home a note Friday saying when autograph day was for them. I thought when we made the purchase we wouldn't need to remind anyone to get it to them.


Okay, we'd only been advertising yearbooks for a MONTH when she says this to me. And really, you didn't think you would need to remind anyone???? Um, excuse me?

And of course, this is over a weekend because apparently I really do live at school and can check everything as it happens. I tell her I'll check the membership forms the next morning after Sunshine's 5th grade breakfast because darn it, there will be one week where my child's activities come before anyone else's. We've been selfless for too long!

OH! BTW, she is a 4th grade parent. At our school it's tradition that the 4th grade parents do the work for 5th grade activities. Breakfast, shop for cook outs, help with graduation/reception. Has she offered? Heck no!!!

So I pull her membership form and guess what? No yearbook has been paid for. I sort through the individual yearbook forms & no yearbook for her kids.

I'm not even going to lie---I snapped a pic of that form & texted it to her after doing the crazy happy dance around the PTO room. My reply that went along was almost snarky:

I attached a picture of your form to this text. As you can see you did not purchase your books. If you would like to do so so the twins can have it autographed on Friday please send in $45 and we will get it to them when we're here this week.

She countered with how she was positive her husband had paid for one & that she would check her receipts.

I checked with the teacher over the next three days and guess what---no money was ever sent for the yearbook.

Needless to say, she still hasn't replied to me.

I get that it's frustrating to think you've taken care of something when you haven't. But what I don't get is the consistent rudeness. Our volunteers are at that school helping EVERYONE's kids. Believe me when I say that our kids aren't getting special treatment---if anything they're judged harder because of the parents' involvement. Maybe a free t shirt here and there or something but the fact of the matter is that everyone else's kids are the ones who benefit.

Moral of the story? Be nice to people who can help you. Especially when they're volunteers.

Hey You!

I think we know each other.  From a long time ago when I had time to myself.  Before I got sucked into the vortex that is known as volunteering as a career.

So. . .

Sunshine graduated from 5th grade at SuperAwesomeSchool this past Tuesday.  My mom flew down from Vermont to celebrate with us which was great.  Sunshine received Principal's List (all A's and good behavior), was the #3 reader in the school (in all fairness, #1 & 2 participated in Reading Bowl competition and read more books.  Sunshine did the Nutcracker. ) and participated in Broadcast Club which she loved.   She  has been recommended for AP Math next year in middle school.  We couldn't be more proud of her!

Ballet has become our obsession.  She danced in the Inaugural Spring Gala with the ballet and had a blast.  She'll continue to dance twice a week over the summer as well as go to 2 Science camps at the local university.

Hunter got "voluntold" that he would be Vice President at the pool we join each summer.  He has put in SO MUCH work over the last month trying to get the pool ready for opening tomorrow.  I told him that he's being groomed for President next summer.

My volunteer career is over, for the most part.  I've been asked to handle a project for the Nutcracker in December by the ballet and I'm going to do it.  The moms who do the bulk of the volunteering are normal (believe me, you never think "are they normal? Do I like them?" until you start volunteering with an organization) and I enjoy their company.  Plus, I'm not running the whole shebang.  That's major right now.

I may or may not help with a couple things at Sunshine's new school.  We'll see if any requests come home.  But, I will NOT run their PTO.

Super Bookatarian and I had our final post-Book Fair margarita/wings party this past week.  Five years of a wonderful partnership has come to an end.  I'll miss seeing her every day but time marches on.  Plus, we'll still get together to knit, drink coffee/tea, etc every now and then.  She was one of the reasons why Sunshine wound up at SuperAwesomeSchool in the first place!

One thing she and I talked about over cocktails was my blog and that she missed reading my posts.  Thank you, K!!  I've missed blogging knowing that not a lot of people in my real life don't read this so I could always share things that I couldn't on Facebook for fear of people being butt hurt.

Butt hurt stinks.

So, now that my tenure on the PTO board at SuperAwesomeSchool is over I feel that I can finally get some things off my chest.   The funny stories, the sad stories & the plain stupid things that parents do because your time as a volunteer is never as important as theirs.

Or because they just plain suck.

I'll let you decide.

Where I've Been

Back in September when Nutcracker rehearsals began I found myself talking to a  mom whose daughters had danced in it for several years.   She told me it was intense.  And that it was a huge time investment.

She wasn't joking.

We went from classes three times a week to regular classes 3x a week along with  2 hour Saturday rehearsals which quickly turned into 2 hours on Friday night and 2 hours on  Saturday afternoon rehearsals.  We had the week of Thanksgiving off, thankfully.  We rested, enjoyed the week off from both schools and had a nice Thanksgiving.

Last weekend was the big performance.  We had a Saturday evening show as well as a Sunday matinee.  Saturday's show was HUGE and as far as I could tell every seat in this theater was sold out!

The Bill Heard Theatre at the River Center

The show went well and Sunshine absolutely loved it.  We were both exhausted after 6 nights of dancing last week (1 dance class, 4 rehearsals and 1 performance).  Sunday's performance was almost cathartic as we now have 2 weeks off until we go back in January.  The ballet has announced a March Gala with rehearsals starting in January.  Time to buck up again!

This week we have Sunshine's Christmas show at school.  It's her last one at SuperAwesomeSchool so that's a little sad.  She and another girl will be doing their Chinese dance from the Nutcracker.  She's excited!

I have 2 days to run my errands this week in between going to chaperone the rehearsal for the play today and our class party on Friday.  I should be able to get everything done.  Hunter has been good about helping me shop for his family this year so that's a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.  I need to run to the PO to ship my family's gifts.  My nephews are old enough that money or gift cards are the norm.

Ready For Fall

It seems like Summer has been never ending this year.  Even though the temps have dropped a bit, the humidity is still ridiculous.

As are some of our parents at school.   The last couple weeks have just been plain awful.  We planned our annual Grandparents Breakfast after much debate and with much hesitation.  This event is huge and tends to spiral out of control no matter how thorough we are.

In years past we've instated an RSVP program.  With over 400 people attending, we have to.  Shopping for this event is a headache and without a head court is nigh on impossible.  We had 426 people RSVP by the cut off date.   One of our board members got a great idea of issuing tickets that way those who had RSVPd would get priority admission.  Anyone without a ticket would have to wait.

Then people lost their minds.

"Can I add one person to my list?"   "My mom's plans changed so can she & my dad and our 3 kids attend?"    "I never got a form"  "My form was lost"   "I turned in my form but the teacher can't find it"

All of this for some coffee, juice, fruit & a pastry of some sort.  

One grandparent texted me on FB.  Seeing as how I was busy in Book Fair that day, it took me a couple hours to reply to her.  I let her know that unfortunately the tickets had gone home and her option was to split the kids with the grandparents or to wait with the non-ticketed group.

72 year old women shouldn't behave this way, but she didn't like my reply so she texted a teacher who is a mutual friend.  This teacher told her she had no control over the event but to try contacting me.  She then emailed our PTO address which I received around 7 that night.

She got an answer but didn't like it so tried to get someone to give her the answer she wanted.   It didn't work.

She then replied to my email saying her 8 year old granddaughter told her that kids didn't need tickets so she was okay adding the additional grandparent.    I let her know that her 8 year old was indeed wrong.    She countered with "of course I wouldn't believe her."

But you did.

And, how many grandparents do these kids have anyway?   Some kids were showing up with 6 or more people.  Maybe 2 grandparents on dad's side, 2 on mom's & what?  Great grandparents???

Anyway..

I was tucked away in the library where people were happy to spend money on books for their darling grandkids.  Feedback on the breakfast was good.

My volunteers in the gym were insulted, griped at and other nasty things.   Parents who came in to take pictures couldn't be bothered to pitch in and help.

People can always find the time to criticize but when it's time to help they scatter like roaches.

I've enjoyed my time helping at SuperAwesomeSchool but I have to admit, I'm feeling very let down this year.   And it's trickling over to my home life.   I'm sure it's my perception but there are people (No! Not Hunter!!) who should be in my corner but it seems like I'm a burden to them.   If I don't initiate contact there's a problem.  If I'm around them, it seems like they're doing me a favor by spending time with me and my family.

Sorry for the whiny vent.  I'm trying to get out of this funk because it's just NOT like me.  I need to accept that not all of our parents are going to step up.  I need to accept that they are going to criticize and then pretend to be nice to my face.  I need to accept that people give what they can in relationships and that I can't control that----it's them who will have regrets in the end.  Not me.

*sigh*