Things I love

Snyders of Hanover's Buffalo Wing Sauce flavored pretzels.

My Dyson

When Sunshine dresses up in her princess dresses & prances around the house.

The way my bed feels at the end of a long day

Sunshine's bedroom--the bay window, the color she chose for the walls, her bed.

The sounds coming from her room as she plays w/ 2 of her girlfriends.

The way Smitty wraps his paws around your arm as you snuggle & pet him.

The way Libby's paws smelled like Fritos.

The way certain skeins of yarn (Koigu, Malabrigo, etc) feel when you squish them.

Mad Men & rewatching that week's episode over again on DVR.

Olympia Dukakis' & Shirley Maclaine's characters in Steel Magnolias.

Sushi

Puppy bellies that are all warm & pink.

Writing with fine point sharpies.



There are more things, but this is a good list to start off with.

TS Eliot was wrong

April is NOT the cruelest month. That would be July.

Last year was horrible as Hunter's PTSD made things nearly impossible for him to function & on the 17th we lost my Dad.

This year started off fairly well---we spent the 4th with friends on the lake. We enjoyed our pool membership, the fact that all of us were on summer vacation & were looking forward to our trip to Vermont despite the fact that we would be attending a funeral/memorial for my aunt who died in March.

The morning of the 8th, I woke up to a sick Libby. Vomiting & just icky. Hunter thought it was because we played ball too long & too hard in the yard the day before. Well, wouldn't that have made her sick then, not 14 hours later? She took it easy the rest of the day & seemed to be on the mend.

Late in the afternoon on the 9th, she started vomiting again. We called the vet & got her in for an after hours visit. Xrays showed gas pockets in her intestines but weren't able to show her uterus. We took her home after being given fluids & anti-nausea meds & were told to keep an eye on her.

Saturday morning would be the last time we played Puppy Bowl. She got in 2 throws before she stopped. Sunday night we discovered symptoms that led to a Monday morning diagnosis of Pymetra. She had an emergency spaying on Monday the 12th & was released to us on the 14th. She was still very lethargic & didn't eat much at all.

We left for VT (via my brother's in DE) on Saturday the 17th---the one year anniversary of my Dad's death. Sunday we finished the drive to VT. By this point, we couldn't get her to eat, she was drinking more frequently & couldn't do much other than walk to a spot so she could rest.

Tuesday morning (the 20th), I discovered her urine was sweet smelling when I picked her up to put her on the couch. Our vet down here told us to get her to a vet in VT immediately. Tests showed our sweet girl was in kidney failure. A kidney flush *might* work but we were told that the chances were slim.

This is when Hunter had to pick me up up off the floor. We were out renting a car as ours was going into the shop for 2 new tires (why didn't our mechanic notice this in May when we had the car in there?). Our vet called me after talking to the VT vet & helped me to realize that we had done all we could for Libby & that our choice was humane. Having been Libby's vet from the time she was 10 weeks old & had her first puppy visit, she told me that while Libby's life was short, she was one of the best loved dogs she has had the chance to care for.

We dropped Sunshine off at my Mom's house & raced over to the vet. We got to spend an hours or so with Libby before she gave her the injections. I held her until almost the end & at that point, was petting her. She died at 2:48pm on Tuesday the 20th of July. I still cry thinking about it.

Our drive home was sad as I've never driven home from VT to GA without her. Last night (our first night home) there was no puppy on my pillow snuggling with me.

We pick up Smitty tonight (he spent 2 weeks with a friend of mine, her 2 girls & their 2 dogs) so our house won't be as quiet but there will always be a Libby size hole in my heart.