Funny Thing About Stress

is that when it's gone, you realize just how poorly you felt.

I've enjoyed my time as a parent volunteer.  A lot.  But for the past year my health has paid a very high price.  I was under a good bit of stress on a daily basis.  

If it wasn't the seemingly never ending stream of colds, sore throats or stomach issues it was the anxiety.

And the anxiety was bad.  Like to the point where I would head into the bathroom to brush my teeth after breakfast and would wind up getting sick.  Ironically, it was only happening on days I needed to be at school.

And it wasn't just me getting sick.  My two partners in crime (our Treasurer and Secretary) were sick consistently as well.  Same symptoms.  We'd text one another in the afternoons to make sure someone else was coming into school so we could either walk in together or leave together.

Parents would comment on how they were so grateful for the long hours we put in, and while it was nice it was frustrating.  They'd be posting their craft projects, daily workouts or various food creations on Facebook yet they never had time to come in and help out.

Let me tell you, if you can spend an hour working out, you can spend an hour at Book Fair, or you can spend 30 minutes helping to sort pictures from a dance.  "I'm so  busy"  "I work" or "I never know my schedule" were common excuses.

I knew that once BOGO Book Fair came around in April that the end would be in sight.  Granted, it would be a long four weeks (BOGO, Field Day,  Teacher Appreciation Week, AR Celebration Week, Final House Celebration, 5th grade overnight trip and then 5th Grade Graduation Week) but it was there.

Our events went off without a hitch and I had a couple days off in there.  And my mom came down for Sunshine's graduation which was hectic and wonderful all at the same time.

The last day of school it hit me.  It was OVER.  My schedule was about to go from crazy to vacation-lazy.  Sleeping in, no responsibilities, no need to be somewhere, no parents asking me about their 3rd grader's end of the year party--which by the way, I knew NOTHING about.  HINT:  Ask the teacher.

So, as the weight of the PTO was lifted off my shoulders, so was the stress.  I no longer find myself filled with dread when I need to go somewhere. I removed myself as an admin on the PTO's Facebook page.  My contact info is no longer on the school's website.    In the immortal words of Dobby:

Laurie is a free elf!  Laurie has no master!


I've had several people already ask if I'm going to head up the PTO at Sunshine's new school and the answer is no.  I may help out here or there but I'm not heading anything, running anything, chairing anything.   I'll help out at ballet and the pool but it's ending there.  I'm sick of being sick.

The Yearbook Story

Usually stories start at the beginning, I'm starting with this story from the last week of school.

Our PTO has a Facebook group as it's a great way to get info out to parents, answer questions, etc.  Back in April we announced that yearbooks had arrived and would go home to those students who had prepaid.  We had a membership option at the beginning of the year where parents could pay for everything in advance:  yearbooks, blue pops, t shirts, membership, Fall Festival Wristbands, etc.  We kept track with the use of a highlighter on several different rosters.

So, this mom who has had issues all year---too many kids are sick in her kids' class & why is this???? Her kids' Square One art project was messed up.  Our Treasurer who also handled Square One offered to help.  Another mom posts on FB that Treasurer was AWESOME in helping her fix the Sq1 problem.  Yearbook mom's reply?  "She does her best."

Um, excuse me?  Our Treasurer works a 40 hour a week job.  Granted, she works from home so she does have flexibility but those hours she's at school helping?  Take away from her work time so it's not uncommon for her to be up at 11 pm finishing her work day.

"She does her best" became our catch phrase for a few weeks.  Don't give us fodder as we will run with it and beat it like a dead horse.

So the final week of school this mom posts that she KNOWS she ordered a yearbook and PREPAID but her twins haven't received their one copy yet.  I send her a FB message apologizing, explaining our tracking method and tell her that it would have been better if she'd contacted us sooner than the last week of school.

She says
They are only supposed to get one year book. I didn't know when y'all gave them out so I didn't know they were missing one until they brought home a note Friday saying when autograph day was for them. I thought when we made the purchase we wouldn't need to remind anyone to get it to them.


Okay, we'd only been advertising yearbooks for a MONTH when she says this to me. And really, you didn't think you would need to remind anyone???? Um, excuse me?

And of course, this is over a weekend because apparently I really do live at school and can check everything as it happens. I tell her I'll check the membership forms the next morning after Sunshine's 5th grade breakfast because darn it, there will be one week where my child's activities come before anyone else's. We've been selfless for too long!

OH! BTW, she is a 4th grade parent. At our school it's tradition that the 4th grade parents do the work for 5th grade activities. Breakfast, shop for cook outs, help with graduation/reception. Has she offered? Heck no!!!

So I pull her membership form and guess what? No yearbook has been paid for. I sort through the individual yearbook forms & no yearbook for her kids.

I'm not even going to lie---I snapped a pic of that form & texted it to her after doing the crazy happy dance around the PTO room. My reply that went along was almost snarky:

I attached a picture of your form to this text. As you can see you did not purchase your books. If you would like to do so so the twins can have it autographed on Friday please send in $45 and we will get it to them when we're here this week.

She countered with how she was positive her husband had paid for one & that she would check her receipts.

I checked with the teacher over the next three days and guess what---no money was ever sent for the yearbook.

Needless to say, she still hasn't replied to me.

I get that it's frustrating to think you've taken care of something when you haven't. But what I don't get is the consistent rudeness. Our volunteers are at that school helping EVERYONE's kids. Believe me when I say that our kids aren't getting special treatment---if anything they're judged harder because of the parents' involvement. Maybe a free t shirt here and there or something but the fact of the matter is that everyone else's kids are the ones who benefit.

Moral of the story? Be nice to people who can help you. Especially when they're volunteers.

Hey You!

I think we know each other.  From a long time ago when I had time to myself.  Before I got sucked into the vortex that is known as volunteering as a career.

So. . .

Sunshine graduated from 5th grade at SuperAwesomeSchool this past Tuesday.  My mom flew down from Vermont to celebrate with us which was great.  Sunshine received Principal's List (all A's and good behavior), was the #3 reader in the school (in all fairness, #1 & 2 participated in Reading Bowl competition and read more books.  Sunshine did the Nutcracker. ) and participated in Broadcast Club which she loved.   She  has been recommended for AP Math next year in middle school.  We couldn't be more proud of her!

Ballet has become our obsession.  She danced in the Inaugural Spring Gala with the ballet and had a blast.  She'll continue to dance twice a week over the summer as well as go to 2 Science camps at the local university.

Hunter got "voluntold" that he would be Vice President at the pool we join each summer.  He has put in SO MUCH work over the last month trying to get the pool ready for opening tomorrow.  I told him that he's being groomed for President next summer.

My volunteer career is over, for the most part.  I've been asked to handle a project for the Nutcracker in December by the ballet and I'm going to do it.  The moms who do the bulk of the volunteering are normal (believe me, you never think "are they normal? Do I like them?" until you start volunteering with an organization) and I enjoy their company.  Plus, I'm not running the whole shebang.  That's major right now.

I may or may not help with a couple things at Sunshine's new school.  We'll see if any requests come home.  But, I will NOT run their PTO.

Super Bookatarian and I had our final post-Book Fair margarita/wings party this past week.  Five years of a wonderful partnership has come to an end.  I'll miss seeing her every day but time marches on.  Plus, we'll still get together to knit, drink coffee/tea, etc every now and then.  She was one of the reasons why Sunshine wound up at SuperAwesomeSchool in the first place!

One thing she and I talked about over cocktails was my blog and that she missed reading my posts.  Thank you, K!!  I've missed blogging knowing that not a lot of people in my real life don't read this so I could always share things that I couldn't on Facebook for fear of people being butt hurt.

Butt hurt stinks.

So, now that my tenure on the PTO board at SuperAwesomeSchool is over I feel that I can finally get some things off my chest.   The funny stories, the sad stories & the plain stupid things that parents do because your time as a volunteer is never as important as theirs.

Or because they just plain suck.

I'll let you decide.

Where I've Been

Back in September when Nutcracker rehearsals began I found myself talking to a  mom whose daughters had danced in it for several years.   She told me it was intense.  And that it was a huge time investment.

She wasn't joking.

We went from classes three times a week to regular classes 3x a week along with  2 hour Saturday rehearsals which quickly turned into 2 hours on Friday night and 2 hours on  Saturday afternoon rehearsals.  We had the week of Thanksgiving off, thankfully.  We rested, enjoyed the week off from both schools and had a nice Thanksgiving.

Last weekend was the big performance.  We had a Saturday evening show as well as a Sunday matinee.  Saturday's show was HUGE and as far as I could tell every seat in this theater was sold out!

The Bill Heard Theatre at the River Center

The show went well and Sunshine absolutely loved it.  We were both exhausted after 6 nights of dancing last week (1 dance class, 4 rehearsals and 1 performance).  Sunday's performance was almost cathartic as we now have 2 weeks off until we go back in January.  The ballet has announced a March Gala with rehearsals starting in January.  Time to buck up again!

This week we have Sunshine's Christmas show at school.  It's her last one at SuperAwesomeSchool so that's a little sad.  She and another girl will be doing their Chinese dance from the Nutcracker.  She's excited!

I have 2 days to run my errands this week in between going to chaperone the rehearsal for the play today and our class party on Friday.  I should be able to get everything done.  Hunter has been good about helping me shop for his family this year so that's a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.  I need to run to the PO to ship my family's gifts.  My nephews are old enough that money or gift cards are the norm.

Ready For Fall

It seems like Summer has been never ending this year.  Even though the temps have dropped a bit, the humidity is still ridiculous.

As are some of our parents at school.   The last couple weeks have just been plain awful.  We planned our annual Grandparents Breakfast after much debate and with much hesitation.  This event is huge and tends to spiral out of control no matter how thorough we are.

In years past we've instated an RSVP program.  With over 400 people attending, we have to.  Shopping for this event is a headache and without a head court is nigh on impossible.  We had 426 people RSVP by the cut off date.   One of our board members got a great idea of issuing tickets that way those who had RSVPd would get priority admission.  Anyone without a ticket would have to wait.

Then people lost their minds.

"Can I add one person to my list?"   "My mom's plans changed so can she & my dad and our 3 kids attend?"    "I never got a form"  "My form was lost"   "I turned in my form but the teacher can't find it"

All of this for some coffee, juice, fruit & a pastry of some sort.  

One grandparent texted me on FB.  Seeing as how I was busy in Book Fair that day, it took me a couple hours to reply to her.  I let her know that unfortunately the tickets had gone home and her option was to split the kids with the grandparents or to wait with the non-ticketed group.

72 year old women shouldn't behave this way, but she didn't like my reply so she texted a teacher who is a mutual friend.  This teacher told her she had no control over the event but to try contacting me.  She then emailed our PTO address which I received around 7 that night.

She got an answer but didn't like it so tried to get someone to give her the answer she wanted.   It didn't work.

She then replied to my email saying her 8 year old granddaughter told her that kids didn't need tickets so she was okay adding the additional grandparent.    I let her know that her 8 year old was indeed wrong.    She countered with "of course I wouldn't believe her."

But you did.

And, how many grandparents do these kids have anyway?   Some kids were showing up with 6 or more people.  Maybe 2 grandparents on dad's side, 2 on mom's & what?  Great grandparents???

Anyway..

I was tucked away in the library where people were happy to spend money on books for their darling grandkids.  Feedback on the breakfast was good.

My volunteers in the gym were insulted, griped at and other nasty things.   Parents who came in to take pictures couldn't be bothered to pitch in and help.

People can always find the time to criticize but when it's time to help they scatter like roaches.

I've enjoyed my time helping at SuperAwesomeSchool but I have to admit, I'm feeling very let down this year.   And it's trickling over to my home life.   I'm sure it's my perception but there are people (No! Not Hunter!!) who should be in my corner but it seems like I'm a burden to them.   If I don't initiate contact there's a problem.  If I'm around them, it seems like they're doing me a favor by spending time with me and my family.

Sorry for the whiny vent.  I'm trying to get out of this funk because it's just NOT like me.  I need to accept that not all of our parents are going to step up.  I need to accept that they are going to criticize and then pretend to be nice to my face.  I need to accept that people give what they can in relationships and that I can't control that----it's them who will have regrets in the end.  Not me.

*sigh*

The Final Countdown

So, summer vacation was wonderful.  We went to Longboat Key for a week as you know.  Contemplated moving to Sarasota only to be reminded that one of the reasons why we're looking to leave Columbus (besides being near family) is that we both miss winter.  And really, winter in Sarasota?  Not much.

We drove up North and spent time with Hunter's family before going to see mine.  Our time in Virginia was great---very relaxed, no stress and we enjoyed visiting with his nephew and his family who were visiting from out of town.  His sister also does a Friday Family Night dinner which was so fun.  They were celebrating his other nephew's dinner.  Sunshine was beyond thrilled to see her little cousin H & his new baby sister O.  The best part was getting to hold O.   She told O's mom that she would do better with her as opposed to the time she dropped Hunter's brother's son.  In her defense, she was only 4.  She also loved going to see Poplar Forest.

We enjoyed beautiful weather & a lovely time in VT.  Dinner on the lake with friends, boat rides at sunset, lots of day trips (Ft. Ticonderoga & Saratoga) with my mom.  We were about an hour away from home when I realized I'd left our passports behind so no Canada trip.  This time.  I have to remember to bring them from now on!

We spent the last couple weeks enjoying the pool before school started.

So, Sunshine is a 5th grader at SuperAwesomeSchool.  While part of me is excited that she's in her final year, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad as well.  We've had a great experience at SuperAwesomeSchool.  She had a rough couple days when she first started but it's hard to start mid-year.  She's adapted beautifully & truly has thrived.

She and her friends were the first crew to start off on the morning announcements.  Another area where she has thrived!  Most kids love being the announcers and Sunshine is no different but she truly loved being the director!  And got high praise from SuperBookatarian for her work.

The first full week there was a monkey wrench thrown in.  Sunshine was with her BFF Haylee in Mrs. T's class.  We requested Mrs. T & while the girls were bummed that their 2 other pals were in Mr. W's class, at least they were together.

Long story short, there was a schedule conflict for several students needing extra help so 7 kids from Mrs. T's were pulled & exchanged with 7 kids from Mr. W's class.

The tears in the hallway, people!!  I thought Sunshine & Haylee were going to hit the ground crying.  It was awful.  The principal told them "but you're together with E & P again!"  Didn't matter.  They wouldn't be in Mrs. T's homeroom.

Things got easier over the weekend & I'm proud to say they have both adapted beautifully.  Somehow I knew they would.    Mr. W. told me his only problem was that the 4 girls wanted to sit together.  But if he let them, he'd have to let 4 boys who are known troublemakers sit together.  Apparently both groups were allowed to change desks.  Guess whose desks haven't been moved  #Sweetgirls

I'm a week out from my final 3 book fair.  I have a co-chair this year so that will be a good thing.  She's got great ideas, is a hard worker & is very creative.  And her OCD is on par with mine.  I feel good about her taking over when I'm gone.

Sunshine is back taking ballet & goes 3x a week.  We're still trying ot adjust to the schedule but she is loving it.  And I love hearing her say all these French terms as she practices.

Lovin' Summer

Is there nothing better than summer vacation?  I don't care if you're a kid or a grown up---summer vacation rocks.

Once we hit an  age where Sunshine started sleeping in on weekends life changed for us.  There was no worry about "what if she wakes up at 6 am?" Most days she's asleep until at least 8.  If not later.     Let me tell you, if I can sleep from 11:30 until 8 am, I'm a happy girl.

Summer is a time away from volunteering.  I love doing what I do at school and I count my blessings that I am able to stay home.  But, everyone needs down time.  This is mine.

We've settled into a wonderful non-schedule of days now that our trip to Florida and VBS are over.  We get up when we're ready, eat breakfast in a lazy fashion and plan our day as necessary.  This week has been pool week.  The first summer we were in our house we joined a neighboring subdivision's pool.  Five years later finds us enjoying the pool as much as ever and Hunter on the board of the pool.  "Voluntold" he calls it.
But, it's our home away from home.  There's rarely a day that friends aren't there.  I keep Hunter's old Nook in the pool bag so that I have something to read (my Kindle Fire HD isn't great for outdoor reading).  The water has been wonderfully refreshing in the summer heat.

Tonight we're having a relaxing evening---laundry is going, I made stuffed peppers (sausage, quinoa, onions, toma tomatoes & gouda) for dinner and we're watching a movie.  Tomorrow is more pool time.

Oh summer. . .how I love you!