An Open Letter To Insomnia

Dear Insomnia~


I feel we know one another well enough for me to speak frankly to you.  You suck & I am severing our relationship effective immediately.

I know this must come as a shock to you considering our history.  Yes, we flirted all those years that I was a night owl.  An "early" bedtime of 12:30 isn't early & it's much too late to go bed when you have to be up at 6, but we made it work, didn't we?  Oh! And the old weekend/going clubbing & getting to bed around 3 to be up at 6 back in my retail days---man, that was nuts!  Remember my "get me going for the day" breakfast on Saturdays?  Yep, McDonalds Bacon Egg & Cheese Biscuit, hashbrown & a large orange drink.  You'll excuse me for a moment while I contemplate the carbs in that one meal alone.

I also know that you had a hand in Sunshine's sleep issues her first couple months of life.  It's okay, admit it.  New moms are fun on 3 hours sleep.  Not fun for them, but for you.

Then something happened.  Your arch nemesis Mr. Ambien came onto the scene.  I was SLEEPING.  Granted some nights I was babbling incoherently to Hunter as Mr. Ambien did his work.  And there was that famous incident where I was on the phone w/ AM, crafting beaded earrings in anticipation of Hunter's homecoming.  It's okay to laugh.

You HAD to know something was up during Lent when I decided that rather than give something up for Lent, I would DO something instead.  And that something was get in bed by 10 each night.

Admit it, you didn't think I could do it, did you?  You thought I'd fail miserably.   But I did it.  And I continued to do so after school got out (for the most part).

And that little success of mine made you mad, didn't it??  And when I decided "hey, it's summer vacation---I don't need to be up at 6 so I'm not going to take anything to help me sleep.  I'm going to do this ON.MY.OWN" you became crazy mad.  So mad, in fact, that tonight (last night?) you decided to exact your revenge upon me .  "Oh, she'll be all wired from the season finale of Mad Men" you thought.  "She'll get in bed after 11, want to read a little, want to play backgammon on her Fire & that's when I'll show up"

Two can play at that game, sir.

So Insomnia, our destructive , no--single sided relationship ends.   I WILL get in bed at a reasonable hour on most nights.  I WILL beat you at your crazy little game that leaves me in dire need of caffeine.  (I'm not giving up caffeine here---let's not go crazy!)  I WILL get a decent night's sleep.  So HA!

Go find someone else to bug.

Signed,

Laurie