I'm used to living with stress. I made it through three of Huter's combat tours, two with a baby/toddler. I ran a PTO. I've done countless cross country (okay, South to North) drives with a baby, then a toddler, then a child, and now a tween, dogs, and enough supplies to last us two weeks. I've planned trips to Disney for pete's sake!
But honestly, none of this prepared me for this summer.
I knew something was wrong when I had a dream a couple weeks ago. I dreamt that I was taking my SATs again. Only instead of the two sections, mine had 18. And everything was on separate pieces of paper and I couldn't find any to use to show my work for the math section. And the weirdest part was that I was taking the test at home.
The other night I dreamt that Sunshine was back at ballet and it was parent observation week. Sunshine was doing well but when they started doing leaps down the floor I gasped and jumped. The mom next to me asked if it was hard for me to watch her dance now. I replied that yes, it was very hard and I held my breath every time she jumped and when she landed.
I've also found myself craving what I refer to as "crap" foods----stuff like cheetos, Krispy Kreme. Stuff that I just don't allow myself to eat. I've had a hard time carving out time to walk/run due to Hunter's schedule at the pool and my need to be with Sunshine. I've had a couple doctor's appointments in the last couple weeks and my weight is 3 lbs over what it was during my appointment in May. Hunter tells me it's water weight. I'm convinced it's my inability to get out and exercise. Still, 3 lbs isn't bad. It'll come off easily enough when she goes back to school and I'll have time to myself. I did get a pleasant surprise in a fitting room when a pair of shorts that I thought was a 10 wound up being a 6. They fit and zipped. They fit and zipped poorly and I looked like a stuffed sausage but they fit and zipped. I wound up buying them in an 8. #smallvictories
So, next week Sunshine goes back to the surgeon and we see if her cast is coming off for good and she'll be in a boot (read: freedom and ability to swim!!!) or whether he'll try the cast for another week or so. School starts in early August so I'm praying that she's off crutches by then. We have a list of questions for the surgeon a mile long regarding what she's able to do and not able to do. And then we'll have to get a rehab schedule from physical therapy. AND then find out if she has PE first semester or not. She's not allowed to go back to dancing until late August at the earliest so needless to say, participating in PE wouldn't be allowed until then at the earliest either. If she does have PE we either need to ask to change her schedule or meet with the coach and see if she minds Sunshine changing out but not participating for at least the first month.
This past weekend we went up to ATL to see Hunter's mom who was flying home from his brother's in TX. While we had a nice little visit, it wore Sunshine out so much. Being confined in the car for 2 hours up and 2 hours back was brutal on her. She was nauseous despite taking some OTC meds. She rallied for dinner but by the time we got home, she was cranky, sore, and ready for bed. I hope that her stamina comes back because the first month of school is going to be so hard on her.
So yeah, stress.