The one with "stuff"

In my younger days I was a bit of a slob. It was nothing for the floor of my room at my parents house to be covered with clothes, magazines, books, etc. My father would liken it to the city dump & my mother would threaten to go up with a garbage bag, scoop up everything on the floor and throw it away unless I picked up.

Sadly, my Oscar Madison tendencies continued into early adulthood. I had several apartments that were best described as "messy". Slowly I outgrew my Oscar tendencies & became Felix Unger. Only I didn't carry an umbrella with me & I don't do that weird nasal honking thing he did.

When we were started packing last fall for our move into this house, we were amazed by all the "stuff" we had accumulated during the years we lived in our apartment. I can't tell you how many trash bags full of "stuff" we took to the trash drop off at our complex. The amount of Army "stuff" Hunter had was mind boggling. More than 3/4 of the "stuff" in our storage unit was Army issue.

The people from whom we bought this house were slobs. I'm not talking messy, clothes on the floor type slobs. I'm talking serious slobs. The bathrooms were filthy (the shower in the master looked like a bathroom in a fraternity house), the kitchen was beyond disgusting to the point where I refused to cook a meal on the stove until we replaced it. Cleaning it wasn't even an issue. When we steam cleaned the carpets, the water came up the color of chocolate milk. I kept hearing Teresa's ( from the Real House Wives of NJ) voice in my head---how she just couldn't live in a house that other people had lived in b/c it skeeved her out to think about their dirt.

We got our house cleaned up before we moved in (except for that icky, nasty, dirty oven that had to be replaced before I'd cook in the kitchen!) and since we'd purged so much non-essential "stuff" things were neat & orderly.

And I liked it.

A lot.

Then I started watching Hoarders on A & E. If you haven't watched it before, I highly recommend it. I know it's mean to pick on people who are mentally ill (and really, anyone who is okay with living in a house with 50 tons of trash, dead animal carasses & bugs has to be mentally ill), but for the love of Pete----these houses are NASTY.

Hoarders helped me take my cleaning to the next level, so to speak. Some may say OCD, I say I stepped up my game. Any given Tuesday (the show airs on Monday nights), you'll find me cleaning some random part of a room that really might not need to be cleaned (how often do you need to clean ceiling fan blades? Do you need to vacuum 4 times a week? Or even 3??) and I'm pretty sure the baseboards in all rooms are so clean you could lick them. If you could turn your head that way.

We've been under "threat" (I use that term jokingly) of a house guest since Saturday. A friend of Hunter's is supposed to pass through town on his way home from TX. A friend Hunter hasn't seen in oh, probably 18 years or so. He's very excited about seeing him & having him meet me & Sunshine. So on Saturday I did what I consider "final" cleaning before someone comes over---make sure Sunshine's bathroom is clean, make sure the guest room is spotless, make sure any toys are out of the living room (except the ones she's actually playing with) and, here's the OCD-----that vacuum lines are visible on the carpet in the living room.

There, I said it. Judge me if you must.

Hunter kept telling me to go take a shower & relax before his friend got there. "The kitchen still needs a quick cleaning". Right, because there is *GASP* a glass right there in the open on the counter that isn't in the sink! Or dishwasher. (Hello, time for an intervention!!) Hunter stopped, looked at me & said "oh right, you've been watching Hoarders, you're all OCD cleaning now."

After we both laughed I agreed to go take a shower (there were now visible vacuum line on the carpet) & told him that while I was showering I expected he'd get the duster & take care of a dust bunny in the corner of the tray ceiling. Because "what if" his friend looked up & saw it.

I really need to get back to knitting, but will do that once there are visible vacuum lines again.