The one with "stuff"

In my younger days I was a bit of a slob. It was nothing for the floor of my room at my parents house to be covered with clothes, magazines, books, etc. My father would liken it to the city dump & my mother would threaten to go up with a garbage bag, scoop up everything on the floor and throw it away unless I picked up.

Sadly, my Oscar Madison tendencies continued into early adulthood. I had several apartments that were best described as "messy". Slowly I outgrew my Oscar tendencies & became Felix Unger. Only I didn't carry an umbrella with me & I don't do that weird nasal honking thing he did.

When we were started packing last fall for our move into this house, we were amazed by all the "stuff" we had accumulated during the years we lived in our apartment. I can't tell you how many trash bags full of "stuff" we took to the trash drop off at our complex. The amount of Army "stuff" Hunter had was mind boggling. More than 3/4 of the "stuff" in our storage unit was Army issue.

The people from whom we bought this house were slobs. I'm not talking messy, clothes on the floor type slobs. I'm talking serious slobs. The bathrooms were filthy (the shower in the master looked like a bathroom in a fraternity house), the kitchen was beyond disgusting to the point where I refused to cook a meal on the stove until we replaced it. Cleaning it wasn't even an issue. When we steam cleaned the carpets, the water came up the color of chocolate milk. I kept hearing Teresa's ( from the Real House Wives of NJ) voice in my head---how she just couldn't live in a house that other people had lived in b/c it skeeved her out to think about their dirt.

We got our house cleaned up before we moved in (except for that icky, nasty, dirty oven that had to be replaced before I'd cook in the kitchen!) and since we'd purged so much non-essential "stuff" things were neat & orderly.

And I liked it.

A lot.

Then I started watching Hoarders on A & E. If you haven't watched it before, I highly recommend it. I know it's mean to pick on people who are mentally ill (and really, anyone who is okay with living in a house with 50 tons of trash, dead animal carasses & bugs has to be mentally ill), but for the love of Pete----these houses are NASTY.

Hoarders helped me take my cleaning to the next level, so to speak. Some may say OCD, I say I stepped up my game. Any given Tuesday (the show airs on Monday nights), you'll find me cleaning some random part of a room that really might not need to be cleaned (how often do you need to clean ceiling fan blades? Do you need to vacuum 4 times a week? Or even 3??) and I'm pretty sure the baseboards in all rooms are so clean you could lick them. If you could turn your head that way.

We've been under "threat" (I use that term jokingly) of a house guest since Saturday. A friend of Hunter's is supposed to pass through town on his way home from TX. A friend Hunter hasn't seen in oh, probably 18 years or so. He's very excited about seeing him & having him meet me & Sunshine. So on Saturday I did what I consider "final" cleaning before someone comes over---make sure Sunshine's bathroom is clean, make sure the guest room is spotless, make sure any toys are out of the living room (except the ones she's actually playing with) and, here's the OCD-----that vacuum lines are visible on the carpet in the living room.

There, I said it. Judge me if you must.

Hunter kept telling me to go take a shower & relax before his friend got there. "The kitchen still needs a quick cleaning". Right, because there is *GASP* a glass right there in the open on the counter that isn't in the sink! Or dishwasher. (Hello, time for an intervention!!) Hunter stopped, looked at me & said "oh right, you've been watching Hoarders, you're all OCD cleaning now."

After we both laughed I agreed to go take a shower (there were now visible vacuum line on the carpet) & told him that while I was showering I expected he'd get the duster & take care of a dust bunny in the corner of the tray ceiling. Because "what if" his friend looked up & saw it.

I really need to get back to knitting, but will do that once there are visible vacuum lines again.

Commitment issues

When we bought our house last year we knew a kitchen remodel was in the plans. The wallpaper was very early '90s, the vinyl floor was in okay shape, but had some areas where it was starting to lift & the counters were a mess. Fortunately, the cabinets were in great shape & just need new pulls. At least I think they do. We'd watch HGTV & the DIY network & try to find inspiration. We'd stalk Lowe's & Home Depot & get ideas. Finally, we got off our butts & made decisions. We put hardwood in the kitchen & instantly the cabinets looked like they'd had a face lift.

Two weeks later we found ourselves without a kitchen as our counters were ripped up so that a template could be made for the new granite counters going in. Five days of no counter, no sink, no running the dishwasher & using red solo cups, plates & bowls along with plastic flatware. Believe me, the irony of buying plastic cups & having the cashier put them in a pink piggy Envirosax bag wasn't lost on me.

It was worth it as our counters were installed & looked amazing.

Now I find myself unable to commit to a back splash. We've gone from glass tile to regular tile to paint back to glass tile. And I'm rethinking my blue walls. *sigh* It's better that I want to just change paint colors rather than tear up the new floors/counters, right??

On the end of combat in Iraq

CNN.com has a feature called iReport where they ask normal (relatively speaking) everyday people to share their point of view. The other night they said "Tell us how the war has affected your life. Share your photos and stories." So, through many tears, I typed away. Several tissues & Hunter repeatedly asking "are you SURE you're okay?" I was finished. Before reading, please remember people's experiences are different as are their opinions. Comments are welcome, soap box rants aren't.

For me, the war started in 2002 when my then fiance deployed to Kuwait for 6 months. There were whispers & rumors about the war starting as early as Summer '02. By October we knew he'd be home the following month & that he would be returning shortly thereafter. We were married in the 6 weeks that he was home in between deployments. It would be another 7 months before we'd see one another.

When Ari Fleischer announced that Operation Iraqi Freedom had begun my phone began to ring. It wouldn't stop until around 3 o'clock the next morning. I wouldn't fall asleep until 430 am.

Mail took 4 weeks to travel from Ft. Benning, GA to wherever the 3ID was and back. We had weekly briefings on post to let us know where the guys were, what battles they'd been in & what the casualty list was like. He called me in early March. It would be 93 days until I heard his voice again.

Any phone calls that came from post made my heart jump into my throat. Any knocks on the door did the same. The fear of losing my husband was so real. It happend to several members of our unit. One was a 24 year old soldier who died in my husband's arms en route to rendez vous point. The fighting was so intense that the medevac pilots refused to land & would only do so approximately 20 miles away.

My husband came home in July of '03 (first in, first out) & our daughter was born 9 months later. Ironically, a year to the day that the soldier died in his arms.

He would deploy to Iraq two more times for OIF3 & OIF5. By the time our daughter was 4, he had been away from us for more than half of her life. We were on a schedule of a year home, a year (or more) gone. This didn't include the weeks that he was in the field or TDY for training.

After his 2nd deployment (2005-2006) I began to notice changes in him. He got angry much easier than before. Little things bothered him. That August, he went to talk to a counselor. Once. He had litle support from those in his unit.

In January '07 we were told they would be part of "The Surge" & despite 29 days at Ft. Irwin, CA, would be leaving 2-4 weeks after returning home. We were among the lucky ones---he left 4 weeks after returning home from CA.

Life goes on during deployments, even if it doesn't seem like it is. Fear becomes an all too familiar emotion. You learn to live with it. You bring your cell phone with you. Everywhere. You start to stalk the mailman. You stay logged into messenger "just in case" For us, it was our primary means of communication. During our chats I would feel like I was boring my husband with our day to day activities. What I could never understand was how badly he needed to hear these things. Life over there is so far from normal that the most mundane of things reminds them of home. Reminds them of being safe.

We had our final homecoming in May of '08. Like all of our homecomings, I can remember the events of that day. What I bought at the grocery store at the last minute, running to buy a balloon so he'd be able to find us in the crowd, what I wore, what our daughter wore. Who we stood with while we waited.

In Summer of '09 my husband's PTSD came to a head and he was treated as a day patient in a local mental health facility. What I suspected in the summer of '06 was true. He was finally getting the help he needed. That our family needed. That fall, he was assigned to the Warrior Transition Brigade on post & did not deploy with his unit to Iraq. I have to admit that I breathed a sigh of relief knowing he would never go back there again. Our family would never be torn apart again. We were lucky that his wounds weren't physical but faced a long uphill battle to help him heal mentally. In Spring '10 he was medically retired from the Army.

The war taught me, as a spouse, several things. I learned that unless someone has walked in your shoes, they just will not get what life is like for you. The war isn't just something unpleasant on the evening news. It's part of your life.

I learned my own strengths--as a temporarily single parent, as a woman, as a person. I learned the meaning of counting down. I learned how to survive what was possibly some of the hardest days of my life.

Despite the hardships we faced, I know that our family was lucky. My husband came home to us. There are a lot of families who can't say that and they are the ones I pray for.

Leave Barbie alone

Today on Facebook a friend recommended a blog for moms of girls. There were some interesting posts about raising girls---how to boost their self esteem, teaching them modesty in their dress (because really, do 5 yr olds need to have low rise jeans?? I kid you not!), knowing who their friends are, encouraging their talents, etc.

I was on board with a lot of what was said until the blogger started in about Barbie.

There’s Barbie who retains the title of most-physically impossible physique after fifty years. If she were an atual woman, her breasts would be so heavy she’d be forced to walk on all fours! (I’m not kidding.) . The only thing bigger than Barbie’s…ere, figure…is her sales “figures.” (Oh, how I wish I could change that!) Here’s the deal: when our daughters play with cute, non-sexual dolls they tend to let imaginative play loose. They role-play and create, giving muscle to their executive function (which controls value formation). But when our daughter’s play with dolls that have a more seductive nature, they tend to be more confined in their imaginative play. It generally leans toward “seduce the boy.”


While I agree that Barbie's figure is physically impossible (unless you're Heidi Montag), I honestly don't know anyone who has played with or who is currently playing with Barbie, that wants to look like her. Maybe girls want silky straight hair like her or a closet filled w/trendy clothing like Barbie, but her figure? Come on, give us a little credit here.

When Barbie came onto the market 50 years ago, there were very few options for women. You went to school, got married, had babies. End of story. Maybe you worked for a little while. Very few women had careers.

Along came Barbie & suddenly little girls had a doll who was a flight attendant. Raise your hand if you had the Barbie Friendship airplane. I did. It wasn't until I had friends who were flight attendants did I learn the job really wasn't glamorous.

Barbie was an astronaut, a veterinarian, a teacher, a doctor, a fire fighter, a chef, scuba diver, animal trainer, a nurse, a dentist, an ambassador, a presidential candidate, a life guard, a Royal Canadian Mountie, a ballerina, a photographer, and a new anchor. She's also represented the Army, Air Force, Marines & Navy. (Thank you, Wikipedia, for your oh-so-thorough list!)


Sunshine's at an age where she's aware of romantic love. Well, as much as a 6 year old can be. Her Barbies have "married" Ken or the Prince dolls. They have children. Have I missed something or is it so awful for children to play "family"? I know when I was little my cousins & I would play family. Since I was the youngest (by 6 months), I was always the baby. Is it wrong to emulate what you see at home when you have two parents who hug & kiss one another & their child? BTW, Sunshine's dolls? There's no seducing going on. Sunshine's friends dolls? No seducing there either.

What's next? Disney Princesses? Doesn't every little girl want to believe in princesses when they're little?

New projects

Sadly none of them are knitting.

When Sunshine was a baby I saw this doll house book case in the Pottery Barn kids catalog. So overpriced but so cute. Hunter started this in the spring & got it finished (with help on the painting from Sunshine) in late May. Here's how it looked when it was finished & now as it's being used.







It's a home away from home for Sunshine's dolls. The Barbie townhouse is in her room so her dolls "travel" to the dining room to visit this house.
















Our next project is to repair some damage that was done to Hunter's grandparents china cabinet. Luckily, it's just on the right hand corner of the top of the bottom but will require removal of some paint, sanding & refinishing. I love this piece & am excited how well it coordinates with our kitchen table & chairs.

The dining room is our last room to be updated. If you look at the first pic of the doll house book case you can see striped wallpaper below the chair rail, as well as a border above it. We're in the process of removing the border & wall paper and will paint the walls a similar burgundy. I think *wink*. I keep thinking that I'm going to repaint the living room & might use the same color in the dining room.

Hopefully we'll be putting hardwood flooring in the dining room, use it as a dining room & use the breakfast nook as an office area.

And lastly, I'm on a quest for the perfect tv/media stand. Hunter got our tv mounted on the wall so the tv stand we'd been using is suddenly too small & out of proportion. I found one at pier 1 that I liked but Hunter doesn't share my love. It's more money than I'd like to spend so I'm scouring all the thrift/antique stores in town in hopes of finding something that we can refinish. The Bassett sideboard that I bought last Christmas @ Gina's junk & thrift store (so totally the best kept secret for amazing pieces of furniture) has been refinished & looks great. I'm hoping to find something equally as awesome for below the tv.

Star light, star bright

last star I see tonight.

Since we moved into this house, I discovered a star right outside one of our bedroom windows. Each night as I'd close the drapes I'd see it up in the sky shining down to the top center pane of our window.

Lately, it's been so cloudy and/or hazy at night that my star's not visible. Is it on summer vacation? When will we have a clear night again? Does it miss seeing me looking up at it?

Come back little star, I miss you!



(obviously this isn't the view from my window, but it is lovely!)

Hair today. . .

I had my hair cut yesterday while I was shopping south of Atlanta. Total impulse thing----I've been rough with my hair this summer. The heat/sun, chlorine & salt water from the pool, styling tools & not enough deep conditioning. While Hunter sweetly says my hair looked fine, I felt it looked awful. Fried awful.

I stopped into an Aveda salon in Newnan & was looking at some products that I wanted to buy when it struck me to ask if they took walk in appointments. They did & I was lucky enough to get a great junior stylist.

Now, I know some people cringe when they hear "junior" stylist. They don't have the experience, they don't know what they're doing, NEWBIE! They don't really bother me because in a lot of salons, they're still under a lead/training stylist's wing and their work is inspected. Let me just add, that for straightening services, I definitely want someone who's done then for a good long time & on many, many, many heads! But a hair cut? I'm fine w/ the junior stylist.

As we were discussing the Aveda products I use we took a little trip down memory lane to the list of hair products past. The first Aveda products I used: madder root shampoo & conditioner in the late 80's/early 90's. The Sap Moss, Clove shampoo/conditioner Brilliant, & Shampure lines followed.

A jump to Redken, Sebastian, Alterna, Vidal Sassoon (the cherry smell always got me!) Artec, Chi, Biosilk, Tigi/ Catwalk, Joico, Nexxus, Paul Mitchell, my salon's in house brand. Phew. Now a return to Aveda. The funny thing, I can remember where I lived when I used these brands. And when I went back to some of them. If I thought really hard, I could put them in chronological order. But that would be really weird.

Sunshine's winding down her 2nd week of school. The other night as I sat with her at the kitchen table as she did her homework, I was wowed by how much she knows already & how she worked to solve the problems (we were doing math). Her penmanship is improving, although since she's my child she could be doomed!

Hunter started classes on Monday so I have 2 in school! He had sticker shock when it came to buying text books (why don't people listen to me about things??? I told him they were spendy!) He's getting used to his schedule after a couple add/drops & is in the early stages of earning his RN. I'm so proud of him & think he'll make a great nurse!!

Today I'm getting my clothes (Sunshine's old ones) ready for the Just4Kidz consignment sale next month. Everything's been entered on their website so now I need to hang them & when we get the okay, print out my price tags. Then it's lunch w/ the girls & heading to Fresh Market with Sushine after school. It's incredibly humid & we're supposed to have thunderstorms, so we'll see!