Memory

Isn't it amazing how looking at a picture takes you back to that moment?

This was taken in late Oct. '04. Sunshine was almost 7 months & had started to crawl. She had 2 teeth & was a champion sleeper (going down around 7 & sleeping until 5 or so in the morning). Hunter was preparing to deploy in 2 months & I was in the throes of PPD. MIL was visiting us for a few days & snapped this picture while we were walking Libby & Sunshine late in the afternoon.

I remember getting these back (they were taken on our old Nikon 35mm camera that required film. One day you'll have to explain to your child what film was) & thinking how awful they all looked. I hadn't lost all my baby weight (9 mos on, 9 months off, right?) & looked ginormous. Hunter looked lobotomized & Sunshine wouldn't look at the camera.

About a year or so ago I found this group of pictures & it took me back to a wonderful time in my life. Yeah, I hadn't lost the baby weight but the look of sheer joy on our faces brought tears to my eyes. Our little family was so happy despite the weight on our shoulders. We had a beautiful, healthy sweet baby girl who was (and is) the center of our universe. Despite the threat of Hunter deploying, we were together. We had new mommy & daddy friends who had wee ones just like us. Some of them were facing deployments as well.


"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose" ~From the television show The Wonder Years

Recently I've found myself remembering what I once considered the hardest year of my life---Hunter's last deployment & the year Sunshine was 3. My friends with children will agree with me that the 3's are so much worse than the supposed "Terrible 2's". I had nights where I would be praying for 7 o'clock to roll around so Sunshine could get in bed & I could get some peace. The emergence of free will & vocabulary in a child, especially a strong willed child is frightening at times. Going it alone while fearing for your spouse's life makes it that much worse. Turning 40 during that time adds to the mix.

It's amazing to me how time away from something changes your perspective. While Hunter's last deployment was hard, it wasn't as horrible as I remember. Scary, yes but I look back on my time with Sunshine & know those were some special times for the 2 of us. Days we will never get back. While Hunter wasn't able to spend them with us, I'm happy that I was able to carry on & enjoy some things along the journey.

When I look at the picture of us on that fall day in '04, I see a happy family. The same as I see today.

Have a great weekend!