I'm kind of dreading Father's Day. Shhhhh.
It's not that I don't want to celebrate what a great daddy Hunter is. I really do. Because he is such a great daddy. And husband.
It's just that I really miss my own daddy & keep remembering his last Father's Day. And how I realized just how far his dementia had progressed. And how I cried during that phone call. And the pain that followed a month later when he died.
That pain that never really goes away & shows itself on days like Father's Day, birthdays, & other holidays.
Sorry to be such a downer. I wasn't really aware of how I was feeling until Sunshine & I were shopping for FD cards. I was mentally making my list "One for Hunter from Sunshine, one from me, one for FIL from Sunshine, one from us, one for Daddy. . . oh, yeah scratch that." The other day I was talking to a friend whose father died after a long battle with cancer & she confessed how hard this weekend was. Yet another friend who was widowed last summer is facing the first FD for her & her almost 12 year old daughter without their husband/father.
If your father is still alive, take joy in that. Never take his physical/mental health for granted. If you're on the outs, find a way to put those differences aside. There will come a day when you won't have your father & it'll be then that you realize just how much you miss him.
You're not a downer. It's understandable. I imagine your brothers are feeling the same way. I hope you, Hunter & Sunshine have a good day on Sunday. xoxox
ReplyDeleteMy mom died 13 years ago the day before Mother's Day. That time of year is just always so hard. I totally understand. <>
ReplyDeleteAw, I understand. I actually read a similar blog post by another friend of mine several days ago. For me, having the focus between my daughter and husband helps a lot, but my dad died almost 19 years ago. I'm sorry and I hope the day turned out okay for you.
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